Читать книгу Meditations for Pain Recovery - Tony Greco - Страница 23

JANUARY 14

RESPONSIBILITY

EMOTIONAL BALANCE

“Learning they are not responsible for their disease, but that they must be responsible for learning how to live life without drugs, is, without question, a big challenge for most addicts to face in recovery.”

Tails of Recovery: Addicts and the Pets That Love Them

My addiction to pain medication caused my life to spiral out of control emotionally. I was taking more than was prescribed because the medication seemed to have stopped working. I began taking more and more to cover up the emotional pain that came as a result of the medication not managing my chronic pain. I was constantly lying to myself and others about how much medication I was taking. I was ashamed of myself.

Eventually I hit bottom and had to take responsibility, not only for how much I was using and abusing, but for why I was using and abusing. It was not necessarily because of the physical chronic pain anymore. Using had become my way to handle life on its terms as a result of having pain. It was a natural progression that happens to many people. Taking responsibility means not making excuses anymore. Taking responsibility means accepting all the feelings— good and bad—that are attached to what happened to me.

Taking responsibility means my life is different today. I am clean and in recovery. I do not judge myself by what I did in my addiction; instead I take responsibility for my actions and continue to work on my recovery.