Читать книгу Meditations for Pain Recovery - Tony Greco - Страница 39

JANUARY 30

TRIGGERS

SPIRITUAL BALANCE

“We should every night call ourselves to account: What infirmity have I mastered today? What passions opposed? What temptation resisted? What virtue acquired?”

Seneca

Just about anything can trigger feelings in me today. Fear, anger, sadness, self-pity—any one of these painful emotions can be triggered by an innocent word, a song on the radio, a billboard I see as I drive to an appointment. I could respond the way I did before I entered pain recovery, and devote time and energy to “searching” within myself for the “cause” of the pain. (Somehow this never results in any new revelations, but it does keep me in pain as long as I continue to do it.) I can waste my mental energy trying to “heal a sick mind with a sick mind,” as it’s said in the rooms of recovery. Or I can do what my program tells me to do—I can search my soul for my own weaknesses, for the areas in which I may be dishonest, resentful, selfish, or fearful—in other words, spiritually unfit. And I can ask my higher power for forgiveness when I see my part in what is bothering me. I ask for forgiveness and I ask to have my attention directed to someone or something I can help.

Today I use triggers as a way to bring me closer to my higher power. I focus on constant prayer, remembering the freedom I have today from active addiction, and on positive thoughts that will turn to positive action.