Читать книгу Meditations for Pain Recovery - Tony Greco - Страница 40

JANUARY 31

SECONDARY GAIN

RELATIONSHIPS

“Secondary gain refers to any perceived benefit you receive from having pain. If not identified, secondary gain gives you unconscious reasons for holding onto your pain.”

Pain Recovery: How to Find Balance and Reduce Suffering from Chronic Pain

It took time for me to realize that I did receive a benefit from being in chronic pain. Sometimes it was more than one benefit. I wasn’t “faking” my pain in order to receive these benefits…I wasn’t even aware I was receiving them until I entered recovery.

Some of these benefits included receiving more attention from friends and family, being excused from having to work, being relieved of responsibilities, getting out of unpleasant activities, and having an excuse to take medication. I no longer need to be in pain in order to receive benefits; in recovery today, I can simply ask to have my legitimate needs met, being aware of my expectations and wants in a healthy way, being productive and working, taking responsibility, showing up for activities, and not abusing medication.

I remember my responsibilities and expectations in my life. I know that by not using my pain as an excuse to get the secondary gain, I am actually reducing the intensity of the pain itself and making it easier on myself. I find healthy ways to live through the habits I create for myself to meet my expectations.