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THE SQUIRREL

The Squirrel is out for a good time. He rushes through the treetops, plays tag with the other Squirrels, eats all the nuts he can hold, and generally behaves as though the world was made for that sort of thing. He is so glad to be alive that nobody has any respect for his mental powers. If you told a Squirrel that life is real and life is earnest, he would dash up the nearest tree, get out on a limb, and offer you a few choice remarks meaning that you are plumb crazy.¹ Squirrels are natural comics and nobody knows it better than squirrels. Anything for a laugh.² They will sit up on their haunches and gnaw at a walnut, turn flip-flops, leap from branch to branch and go through their whole bag of tricks for an audience of one, but they would rather have more. They realize this is part of their job as squirrels. They are fine at it, too, and all it gets them is a reputation for shallowness and irresponsibility. Does that strike you as fair? Ask an Owl his opinion of the Squirrel and he will whoo-whoo in a most superior tone of voice. Look who’s talking!³ Squirrels have been criticized for hiding nuts in various places for future use and then forgetting the places. Well, Squirrels do not bother with minor details like that. They have other things on their mind, such as hiding more nuts where they can’t find them.⁴ The Squirrel is very inquisitive about young people who go into the woods to pick wild flowers. To judge by his scolding, he strongly disapproves of this pastime, so he follows them around in the hope of seeing more. Squirrels are very moral mammals. A couple will live together year after year with no other interests, and they seem to enjoy it.⁵ During the winter they live in their nest in a hollow tree, often remaining indoors for several days at a stretch. I wonder how they manage to kill the time, without any reading to do. And then again, they will feel an urge for fresh air. If you’re out some bright, snappy morning, you’re likely to see Mr. Squirrel chasing his mate hither and yon over the landscape, snow or no snow. I am often asked why there are so many Squirrels. I don’t know.

1 Squirrels make little or no use of what we call thinking. They seem to be doing all right.

2 Squirrels of all kinds make entertaining pets. Some species do not bite much.

3 What the Squirrel says about the Owl is extremely amusing. We won’t go into it here.

4 The Red Squirrel or Chickaree can hardly exist without pine cones. The Gray or Central Park Squirrel will settle for peanuts.

5 I always said we could learn something from Squirrels.