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THE LLAMA

Llamas live in South America, where they have been domesticated for centuries. They were employed by the Incas of Peru to carry things up and down the Andes and they have been doing it ever since.¹ It seems to be their one aim in life. Llamas got the double “l” in their name from the Spaniards, who conquered the Incas in 1533.² The Spaniards had this double “l” knocking around in their alphabet, so they hung it on the poor Llama. They pronounce it Lee-ah-ma because that is correct in Spanish.³ Llamas like to be in high mountainous regions where the rarefied air would be bad for most animals. As Llamas have never heard of oxygen they do not miss it. Llamas are members of the Camel group, but they went their own way long ago and lost the family resemblance. This was a mistake for now they look like Llamas.⁴ I can’t put my finger on it right now, but something is wrong with them somewhere. It may be the neck. The Llama is good in arithmetic and will carry only a hundred pounds on his back. If you load him with more than that, he will lie down in the middle of the road and refuse to budge until the weight is checked and adjusted. He will get up when he feels good and like it. I understand that. He was born tired. The Llama is extremely frank in his social relations. If he doesn’t care for you much he makes no effort to conceal his dislike under a conventional smile. He spits in your face. Of course some people can be awfully trying. Occasionally a Llama gets fed up with everything and goes haywire, attacking Peruvians and other animals and acting perfectly horrid. He should not do that. He should count to ten. Most Llamas are good mixers. Groups of them will get together behind a mountain to relax and chew the cud and this often leads to much better acquaintance. Young Llamas, or llambs, are born in the spring. Llamas and Alpacas are never seen in a wild state.⁵ Guanacos and Vicuñas are always in a wild state. The male Vicuña has from six to fifteen wives. In the mating season two male Vicuñas will often fight until one of them is killed. I guess they don’t like each other.

1 You remember Atahuallpa, don’t you? Why not?

2 Pizarro. Does that ring a bell?

3 The English pronounce it Lay-ma because they are English.

4 Some say the Llama looks like a Camel without a hump. It is impossible to look like a Camel without a hump.

5 Sir Titus Salt (1803-1876) was knighted for making cloth from Alpaca wool, which is better than Llama wool. Queen Victoria loved the stuff.