Читать книгу What Women Want Men To Know - Barbara Angelis De - Страница 16

A few months ago, a male friend I hadn’t heard from in a while called to tell me he was in a new relationship with a woman he’d been seeing for six months. Brian had dated a lot in his life but had never really been seriously involved with anyone, so this was big news. I asked him how it was going, and he answered that things were great, but he had some concerns about his girlfriend.

“What kind of concerns?” I asked him.

“Well, Lori is really terrific, very sweet and affectionate,” he began, “but I’m worried that something’s wrong with her, like maybe she has psychological problems. That’s why I am calling you – to get your feedback.”

“Tell me what she does that makes you think she has psychological problems,” I prompted him.

“To begin with, she says she thinks about me all the time; she calls me during the day just to tell me she misses me; she plans special things for us to do weeks in advance; and she always wants to talk about us and how well we get along. Then last week,” he continued in a very serious voice, “she told me that our relationship is the most important thing in her life!”

“And what do you conclude from all of this?” I asked him, trying to hide the fact that I was smiling on the other end of the phone.

“Well, if she’s so focused on me like that, I think she obviously must be neurotic and insecure.”

“No, dear,” I said to my friend with a chuckle, “she must be a woman in love.”

My friend Brian is a good guy – but he’s a guy. He didn’t have a lot of experience being in long-term relationships, and the way Lori was loving him seemed strange to him, even unhealthy, because he didn’t understand the first secret about who women are: The world of women is a world of love. To love, to be devoted, to cherish intimate relationships is our nature.

What Women Want Men to Know: Women put love first.

When I say women put love first, I don’t mean women choose to make love and relationships a priority – these things just are a priority in our awareness. We don’t choose to have our heart focused on the man we love – it just is. We don’t choose to always be thinking of ways to connect with you – we just do. We don’t decide to put love first – it just is first.