Читать книгу What Women Want Men To Know - Barbara Angelis De - Страница 26

Why do women always want to make things better? Why do we feel compelled to talk about the problems in our relationship with our partner? Why do we feel the need to help when we see the man we love going through a hard time? Why do we so enjoy making plans? Why do we work so hard to ensure harmony with our lover?

In this chapter, I’m going to share with you a second secret about who women are that’s the motivation for so much of how we behave in relationships. It is one of the most beautiful qualities women possess, one that is such an integral part of our psyche that we don’t even think about it. And it’s the answer to all of the above questions.

WHAT WOMEN WANT MEN TO KNOW:

Women are creators.

It is a woman’s nature to create. Women are life-givers. This is our mystery and our magic – we have the power to bring forth something out of nothing.

This ability to give birth to life is most obvious when we become mothers and bring a child into the world. But whether or not we have children, as women we are always giving birth: always creating something where nothing existed before, if not with our bodies, then with our words, our actions, our love. We do this when we give birth to a delicious meal for our family, or a party for a friend, or a bedtime story for our child, or a more effective way to market our company’s product, or an intimate conversation with our partner, or a display of flowers in a vase.

As creators, women are also alchemists; we change the form of things. We transmute the ordinary into the beautiful, the empty into the meaningful, that which was struggling into that which suddenly flourishes. We rarely encounter things that we do not feel inspired or at least tempted to improve upon, whether it’s the way a room is decorated or the way a friend is handling a problem in her relationship, the way we are wearing our hair or the way we have organized our jewelry in a drawer, the way our partner set the table for dinner or the way the two of us are communicating.

Women reading these words will feel a throb of recognition in their hearts. “Yes,” a voice within you says, “I know this to be true.” And for most women, it is. Yet our nature to create is so much a part of us, we rarely think about it or acknowledge it for what it is. We just do it. For instance:

When you first moved in, your empty house or apartment looked like nothing. But as you walked through the rooms, you thought, “I know just what to do to make it beautiful. I’m going to paint the walls a very pale peach; I’ll put my couch over here and my chairs over here; I’ll get a rug that will brighten up the floor; I’ll arrange my plants in these two corners.” And before long, it looked fantastic. Where there was nothing, you created a warm and inviting home. And it was the most natural thing in the world for you to do.

Your little girl comes to you and says, “Mommy, I need a costume for school tomorrow.” You have nothing ready-made, but you go through the house and gather up some colorful scarves, fabric leftovers, ribbons, old costume jewelry, and other odds and ends, and within a few hours, you’ve created a fabulous gypsy costume for your delighted daughter. Out of nothing, you gave birth to something.

It’s Saturday morning, and your husband is sleeping late, exhausted from a difficult week of work. He seemed depressed last night, and it frustrates you to see him so down. You sit at the kitchen table drinking your coffee, and suddenly, a plan emerges in your mind. Quickly, you begin to put it into action. You prepare his favorite breakfast; you look through the paper and find an ad for the Electronics Expo that’s in town for the weekend; you make a reservation at a restaurant he loves for dinner that evening, and call his best friend and his wife, inviting them to join you. By the time he wakes up, you greet him with delicious pancakes, plans to go to the Expo, and dinner reservations with people he really enjoys. He is thrilled. You transformed what probably would have been a depressing day into a string of fun-filled events that will cheer him up and give him a chance to unwind.

All of the above scenarios sound lovely, and harmless enough, don’t they? How, then, could a woman’s creative expression be a problem in her relationship with a man? Read on to learn how women create, yet why it’s easy for a man to misinterpret and misunderstand a woman’s creative instincts.