Читать книгу What Women Want Men To Know - Barbara Angelis De - Страница 31

The propensity to create something out of nothing is a woman’s blessing, but it can also be our curse. It is a blessing when we are inspired to decorate an empty house and turn it into a home, or create a costume for our child from scratch, or manifest a romantic evening for our mate. But it is a problem when we create an emotional problem where there really wasn’t any. Here are some examples I know every woman will relate to:

Your husband has a funny look on his face when he leaves the house, and you can’t get it out of your mind. All day long, you create scenario after scenario about what might be wrong, and by the time he comes home you are sure he wants a divorce and just hasn’t told you yet. Later, he tells you that he had a terrible case of indigestion.

You call your boyfriend at work to check on your plans together for the evening. He sounds distant, and not very excited about seeing you. When you get off the phone, you begin to worry. Maybe he’s feeling too cramped in the relationship, stifled because you’re spending so much time together. Maybe he’s trying to tell you that he wants to slow things down. When he comes over to pick you up for dinner, you are a nervous wreck. However, he is sweet and loving, as if everything is fine. Over your meal he tells you that he’d just come out of a very tense staff meeting when you called and had someone waiting in his office to speak with him about it.

WHAT WOMEN WANT MEN TO KNOW:

A woman’s habit of creating can sometimes work against us as we create unnecessary worry, insecurity, or fear about our relationship.

We admit it, guys: Women know we do this, and believe me, we don’t like this part of ourselves. So while we try to work on it (and that’s in another book!), we’d appreciate it if you can remember that when we get too creative and imagine things that aren’t there, you can help prevent a negative emotional spiral by telling us what’s going on with you.

WHAT WOMEN WOULD LIKE MEN TO DO:

When you realize we look or sound upset and you have no idea why, ASK US WHAT’S WRONG. This gives us an opportunity to tell you what we think is happening, so if we are mistaken, you can correct it, and we can avoid being upset over nothing.

If you notice in a particular moment that you aren’t feeling well, or are stressed or worried, try to let us know. You don’t have to go into details, but just informing us that you are anxious for some reason that has nothing to do with us, will allow us not to jump to the wrong conclusion and create a problem where there isn’t any.

I know that putting these suggestions into practice may feel unnatural at first, guys, but believe me, you will like the results: Your woman will be calmer, less emotionally reactive for no reason, and much more fun to be around.