Читать книгу Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know - Barbara Angelis De - Страница 31

Do you pride yourself on your ability to “bring out the best in a man”?

Have you ever told yourself that, with “a little time and work,” the man you love will become just what you want him to be?

Have you ever felt that the reason your man hasn’t become as successful as he wants to be is that he hasn’t had anyone to “really love and support him” – that is, until you came along?

I don’t know about you, but these questions look painfully familiar to me. Until recently, I made a profession out of Mistake #3 – falling in love with a man’s potential. I was an expert at finding men in need, and focusing much of my time and energy on “helping” them, “fixing” them. Sometimes my efforts were successful, and the man would become successful. Sometimes my efforts failed. But every time, the same thing occurred in my life: I got to avoid my own career, my own dreams by attempting to rescue someone else.

For as long as I can remember, I’d always chosen men who needed fixing in a particular area of their life. Some needed to be emotionally opened up. Some needed to heal the pain of a difficult childhood. Some needed to stop procrastinating, get organized, and use their talents to make money. Some needed to improve their speaking ability or writing skills, or learn how to dress correctly, or how to be an attentive lover. So, I would come to the rescue. I would offer them direction and advice to sort out their confusion. I would give them my love, my money, my energy, and my advice. My friends and family would express their disapproval and tell me I was wasting my time, but that didn’t stop me. And even if the men didn’t seem to be improving, or didn’t appear to want my help, I wouldn’t give up. After all, I’d made a commitment.

Looking back, I realize that each time, I wasn’t really in a relationship – I was working on a project. And I wasn’t involved with a man – I was dedicated to a cause.

I WASN’T IN LOVE WITH THE MAN AS HE ACTUALLY WAS – I WAS IN LOVE WITH HIS POTENTIAL

After many years of frustration, heartache, and disappointment, I woke up one day and realized that I was in my early thirties, and still hadn’t accomplished my own career goals.

That’s when I said to myself, “Barbara, if you’d put even half the amount of energy, creativity, and commitment into your own goals and your own life that you’ve put into helping men unfold their potential, there’s no telling how successful and fulfilled you could become? “And that’s what I did, and you’re experiencing part of the result right now as you read this book.