Читать книгу Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know - Barbara Angelis De - Страница 41

Here’s a quiz that will help you determine how serious a Love Martyr you are. It contains ten warning signs of a Love Martyr. You can take this quiz based on the relationship you are in now, one from the past, or your relationships with men in general. Grade yourself on each statement according to how frequently that statement applies to you.

Very frequently	0 points
Often	4 points
Occasionally	8 points
Rarely or never	10 points

Answer as honestly as you can. You may not like admitting some of this to yourself, but facing it is the first step toward changing it.

The Ten Warning Signs of a Love Martyr

1 You feel like you have to tiptoe around your partner to avoid upsetting or displeasing him.

2 You feel that your partner doesn’t always treat you with respect.

3 You act like a more confident, powerful person at work or with friends than you do around your partner.

4 You don’t feel safe or comfortable giving negative feedback to your partner.

5 You’re hesitant to ask your partner for what you want and need, and sometimes wonder if you are too “needy” or “insecure” anyway.

6 You feel that your partner treats you worse than you treat him.

7 When your partner isn’t behaving lovingly toward you, you tend to become more loving toward him in hopes of winning him over.

8 You feel you have to work to convince your partner of your rights for love, affection, equality, freedom, etc.

9 You often defend or make excuses, to yourself or others, for your partner’s behavior or your life situation.

10 You often feel angry at yourself for acting like a “wimp” around a man, but even though you vow never to do it again, you continue to allow yourself to be treated less lovingly than you deserve.

Now, total up your points.

80–100 points: Congratulations! You own your power around the men in your life, and usually don’t sacrifice who you are in order to be loved. To avoid future problems, work on those areas in which you had a lower score.

60–79 points: You’re not a full-blown Love Martyr, but you are giving up your power too often in certain areas of your relationships with men. Notice how you are letting fear of loss or disapproval keep you from asking for what you deserve from your partner. Work on loving yourself more and compromising less.

40–59 points: WARNING! Whether you want to admit it or not, you are a wimp when it comes to your relationships with men. You allow yourself to be treated badly, and don’t stick up for yourself. You’re such an expert at sacrificing for love that you’ve forgotten how it feels to be relaxed around a man. Follow the instructions in this chapter carefully, and start giving yourself some of the love you give so easily to men.

0–39 points: EMERGENCY! YOU’RE A PROFESSIONAL LOVE MARTYR. You probably have little or no self-respect left, considering how terribly you’re treated by the men in your life. Don’t expect to be loved until you start loving yourself. It’s time to get off the floor and act like a woman, and not a doormat! You need to take action NOW! Use the suggestions in this book, seek some personal counseling for extra support, stop sacrificing and start living with dignity again.