Читать книгу Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know - Barbara Angelis De - Страница 37

We cover up our excellence and competence because we think men will love us more that way. Do you remember ever being told any of the following things as a young girl?

“Always let the boy win if you play games together. That way, he’ll like you more.”

“Don’t act too smart around men, or they won’t want to take you out. You have to build them up, and make them feel smarter than you.”

AS WOMEN, WE’VE BEEN CONDITIONED TO MAKE OUR MEN LOOK AND FEEL SMARTER AND BETTER THAN WE ARE IN ORDER TO ENSURE THAT THEY WILL LOVE US

We go into relationships with a belief that if we look too good to a man, he won’t want to be with us, and so we work hard to make him look better than he is, and to make ourselves look worse than we are.

We cover up our excellence and competence because we’re afraid to look arrogant or conceited to others. Do you remember being given advice like the following?

“Now Susie, I’m glad that you got all As on your report card, but I wouldn’t tell too many people about it. It isn’t nice to brag, and girls must be modest.”

“Ginny, don’t stare at yourself in the mirror like that. It isn’t ladylike to think too highly of yourself. Girls who are too proud are unpopular.”

I remember my mother telling me when I was still in junior high school that the more successful and accomplished I became, the more people would be jealous of me, the less friends I’d have, and that I should be careful not to intimidate people with my talents. Like all mothers, she meant well, and I can’t say that I haven’t experienced some of these reactions in my life. But she was just passing down a self-deprecating philosophy that her mother had taught her, and that so many of us learned growing up. A woman shouldn’t look too good – it’s not feminine or attractive.

IN AN ATTEMPT TO BE “NICE GIRLS,” WOMEN HIDE THEIR MAGNIFICENCE