Читать книгу Anxiety Toolbox: The Complete Fear-Free Plan - Gloria Thomas - Страница 22

A large number of people have suffered from social anxiety at some point in their lives. Think back over your own experiences and I’m pretty sure you’ll be able to recall a period when you were shy and anxious with particular people or groups, or in certain social settings.

To a certain extent, we are born with our personality already mapped out and with an ‘emotional’ biology that is thought to determine our temperament. Consider babies for a moment – they all have such different personalities. Children born to the same parents also usually have characters that are completely different: one child may have a placid temperament, while another is more robust.

Of course, there is little doubt we are affected by our environment and social anxiety often has its roots in childhood experiences. However, studies examining whether the temperaments of young children changed in social situations over time found that the robust, confident individuals stayed that way in groups of people. The children who were fearful and nervy at an earlier age were more likely to be anxious in social situations, though some did improve.

It is perhaps during adolescence that social phobias and anxieties really begin to manifest and become most apparent. At this stage, children may be breaking some of the bonds with their parents and becoming more aware of themselves as individuals, but they have a strong need to fit in with their peers. As a result, anxieties emerge about being judged or rejected – or indeed doing anything that might conceivably lead to embarrassment or humiliation.

Social anxiety can occur on many different levels. When it is mild, the sufferer usually experiences discomfort and anxiety in particular situations. In cases of extreme anxiety, the individual is consumed by thoughts of their inadequacies and feels quite overwhelmed and panicky. Following a stressful event they will spend hours obsessing about how they could have behaved differently. It is also possible to have phobic reaction in social situations (see here).

While the lucky ones grow out of their anxiety, others simply learn to manage it. For some, however, it can stick, causing them to become fixated with self-doubts about social situations. Patterns like this can run the whole of a lifespan and can have an incredibly negative effect on a person’s life, making it difficult for them to make friends and get on in social situations. For an unlucky minority, this becomes so fraught with anxiety that they will avoid such situations and hence become reclusive and lonely.