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“1.4 A: Don’t get hung up on your views of how things ‘should’ be because you will miss out on learning how they really are.”

– Ray Dalio, Principles

Let’s start at the beginning. The best place to begin is where you are now. It’s the only place to begin, really. You can’t start where you used to be or where you wish you were, but sometimes your mind likes to make you think you can. Stepping into the reality of “what is” is an essential principle for building an Owner’s Manual that you can rely on. If you build your Owner’s Manual based on where you were at a previous time in your life or where you think you should or want to be, you’ll be building the wrong manual. It will be for somebody else’s life or the wrong version of your life. Certainly, use past experiences to inform what you choose to do now; you’d be missing out on learning from them if you didn’t. At the same time, expectations that what worked then should work now can get you into trouble. Expectations in general can get you into trouble, and that’s why I’ll give you tools to get them working for you instead of against you in this chapter.