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Chapter 5:

Get Curious - Awareness, Curiosity, and Compassion

“To wonder is to begin to understand.”

– José Ortega y Gasset

After you’ve stepped into your reality and expectations, it’s time to pause and take a look around. Take stock of what life looks like for you. That look can bring you all kinds of valuable information that is essential for building your Owner’s Manual. Awareness and curiosity are key ingredients to make that happen. Self-compassion allows you to look with kindness versus judgment and therefore makes it more likely that you will look often and honestly. Honing these skills won’t happen all on its own; you’ve got to get deliberate about it. The good news is:

 •No matter where you are starting from, these skills can be built.

 •Big grand gestures are not needed. Small actions (whenever you can make them) make a difference.

 •It’s worth every ounce of effort you give it.

Set Up Triggers To Practice

Building a new skill of any kind requires that you do the behavior again and again and again – practice. Often the practice itself is not difficult but remembering to do it can be. That makes strategies and systems that prompt you to practice super valuable. Creating triggers to practice is a tool that has been instrumental in successful change for both my clients and me.

By connecting your desired new practice with an event or action that already happens as part of your normal day, you create a trigger for the new action. The key is to pick a trigger that is specific and immediately actionable. Awareness, curiosity, and compassion can be practiced anywhere, anytime and need only take an instant, so there are endless opportunities to practice. Win!

James Clear identifies five types of habit cues (or triggers): time, location, preceding event, emotional state, and other people (more here: https://jamesclear.com/habit-triggers