Читать книгу Turn it Up! - Kelly DuPée - Страница 6

What is the first thing you look for when choosing a book to read? Or, perhaps, a movie you’d like to see or a television series to watch? Of course the subject matter is important – what is it about? If it’s a Dodgers or Lakers game, or a major golf tournament, I’m in, no questions asked. If it is a movie I need a little more information. Is it an action flick, mystery, drama or a romcom? Are the reviews any good? But when it comes to anything informational and instructional I not only want to know what it is about I want to know who is coming up with the material.

They say you teach what you know but you reproduce who you are. Sure, there are successful coaches who were not outstanding at the game as players but have proven excellent at leading championship teams. Still, if you are going to help me live my life better you’ll have to forgive me if I am very interested in how you are living your life – especially in regards to the topic you are teaching. This is nowhere more true than in the critical area of marriage.

Marguerite and I have been married for 49 years, so if for no other reason than longevity we have learned a thing or two about what it takes to succeed. We are going for the gold! For most of these years we have known Kelly DuPée. Over the decades I have ministered with Kelly, worked with Kelly, traveled with Kelly, played golf with Kelly, and can honestly say he is one of the finest men I’ve had the privilege to know. Of course he’s not perfect, but when I think of a man of integrity he is one of the first that comes to mind.

I had the honor of performing the ceremony when Kelly married Carrie. Marguerite and I have both observed and lived life with them as they have grown from newlyweds to parents to grandparents. We have seen first hand their ups and downs and how they have handled multiple challenges and tackled various problems. Through it all I can safely say they have learned to Turn It Up!

Kelly writes in a straightforward, easy to understand manner, with numerous applications that benefit the reader immediately. While the book can certainly be utilized as a manual to heal and improve anyone’s marriage, it does not read laboriously like a typical textbook. You will discover solutions for your life and marriage that have been hiding in plain sight.

Success in anything, including marriage, rarely if ever just happens. It happens by design, not default. One of my favorite Bible verses is Ecclesiastes 10:10, “If the ax is dull and its edge unsharpened, more strength is needed, but skill will bring success” (NIV). In short, you are never wasting your time sharpening the ax. Reading and even studying Turn It Up! will prove to be not so much an expenditure of your time and energy as an investment.

Sound like too much work? Well, if you’re like me getting started is hard, but not as hard as you might think. In contrast, going through a divorce is always significantly harder and more costly than initially imagined. The long-term costs of deciding to simply check out through excessive partying, drinking, and drug use are enormous. No matter what you decide to do and wherever you decide to go there are costs. Even if in the end your marriage cannot be saved you will find yourself a better person by making wise choices now. Whatever happens in your journey you will not regret learning to Turn It Up!

As you put in the work to better your life and marriage I encourage you to move beyond your feelings. It is common for a spouse to feel like they don’t love their partner any more (they may even wonder if they ever really did love them). If that’s the case, why try? I seldom feel like exercising and stretching but I do it about five times a week. Why? I don’t like to exercise! But I do want to stay as strong and flexible as I can for as long as I possibly can. Also, I like the way it makes me feel (alright, only when I’m done!). If I waited until I felt like it I would seldom exercise. My friends in recovery have taught me a life changing truth – it’s easier to act your way into a feeling than to feel your way into an action. For them, it is a matter of continued sobriety. For me, it is a matter of staying in shape as I age. For you, it might be a matter of reigniting a lost love and passion.

Maybe the willingness to put in the work is not your problem but the idea of having someone coach you is. I know that feeling. I tend to prefer jumping right in and figuring things out for myself. Taking the time to sharpen the ax or being coached seems unnecessary or overly time consuming. But I have learned that all too often what I feel isn’t real. It took me a while to realize that what I thought I was doing in my golf swing was not what I was actually doing. It took an outside pair of eyes (and video!) to prove it to me. In fact in more ways than one what I felt I was doing was the exact opposite of what I was actually doing! My golf game improved exponentially when I allowed myself to be coached by quality people. Life and marriage are no different and way more important than golf. To work hard at what you feel is correct only to find out it is not right is disheartening, but that realization is a necessary step toward authentic improvement. For that to happen, we need help. And, by the way, Kelly is an insightful, proven and effective coach!

Marguerite and I are praying that as you journey through the book God will give you a breakthrough. Turn It Up! can help bad marriages become good and good marriages become great. But, as Kelly points out, the focus is on progress not perfection. “I pray with great faith for you, because I’m fully convinced that the One who began this gracious work in you will faithfully continue the process of maturing you until the unveiling of our Lord Jesus Christ!” (Philippians 1:6, TPT).

Dr. Jim Reeve

Founding and Senior Pastor

Faith Church, West Covina