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Body-image Versus Self-image
ОглавлениеIt is time to stop confusing your body-image with your self-image. Body-image is not what you see in the mirror: it is the reaction you have within you in response to what you see. I understand that you want to be different from the way you are now—that you don’t like the shape of your body – but this does not make you a bad person. You say you hate yourself but you are not your body. Consider your character: I am sure you are kind, generous, funny, a good loyal friend. What has that got to do with the fact that for some reason you have eaten too much food and allowed your body to become fat? Some of my very large clients say they feel ashamed to be seen and think that other people are talking about their size. So what? That is their problem. Why should you care? They don’t live with you.
I am not suggesting you resign yourself to being overweight but that you acknowledge what is – without judging that reality. Acceptance does not imply self-delusion. When you accept yourself you simply say, ‘This is how I am right now and it’s OK’. How you look, the number on the scales and your eating habits are neither good nor bad. They just are. As you learn a healthier way of eating, your body will reflect this change and you will get slimmer. For now, however, developing an acceptance of how you look is crucial to resolving your problem with food.
The easiest thing to be in the world is you. © The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be.
The logic of why you binge may still elude you but that logic is there nonetheless. Each person in the course of their development finds ways of coping with life’s experiences. Therefore your eating has simply become your chosen way of dealing with your problems. When you reach for food to comfort yourself, you are reaching back in time. It is something you have always done. So? Is that a reason to hate yourself? Of course not. What you are going to do now is to replace this means of coping with something better, and make the decision that from now on you are going to be nice to yourself.