Читать книгу The Truth about Relationships - Stefan Blom - Страница 17

Just as a bird builds a nest to hold a delicate egg, it is a good idea to build a nest for conversation into which you can put your sensitive topics. To build a nest is to create a context for speaking, a beautiful space that invites you to have a good conversation.

For starters, it is never a good idea to have a conversation while standing. Standing and talking does not show serious intent. Rather, it shows that you are on your way somewhere. To give your conversation the respect it deserves, it is best to sit down when you have it.

A couch or a table is a good place to start a conversation.

Sit on your couch or at your table, and start speaking. As simple as it might sound, it is not easy – we often feel upset or hurt in that moment. Remember that every time you are upset or hurt, or you disagree, it is an invitation to talk. By asking your partner to sit with you and talk, you indicate the seriousness and respect you intend to give your relationship.

Respect each other and your relationship by switching off or removing all electronic devices. No couple has ever managed to speak successfully in front of a television or computer screen.

Often, when you switch on an electronic device, you switch off your relationship. The intention is to switch on to each other and your relationship. It’s also not good for your relationship to bring electronic devices such as televisions, phones and tablets into your bedroom. Intimacy and screens don’t live well in the same space; screens should be banned from your bedroom.

AN EXERCISE FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP

•Name the place where you would like to have a conversation with each other.

•Tell each other why you prefer to have your conversation in this place. And promise your partner to invite them into this space when you have indicated that you would like to speak.

Once you have indicated that you want to speak, and have created a safe and comfortable place to do so, start talking. You are now ready to speak your minds.