Читать книгу How to Deal With Difficult People - Ursula Markham, Ursula Markham - Страница 32

A genuine compliment, gladly given, can give the recipient so much pleasure that it is a real pity most people find it such a difficult thing to do. Get into the habit of giving compliments – don’t save them for special occasions. Whether you are informing a business colleague that you think he has performed a task particularly well or telling your daughter you love the painting she has brought home from school, you will be bringing happiness and a sense of achievement into the other person’s life. The positive energy derived from a sense of achievement can spur a person on to even greater things in the future.

Thinking back to the first chapter and the way so many people have been programmed to think of themselves of failures, by helping others to consider themselves achievers you may be breaking a negative mould which has been impeding their personal progress for years. And all for the sake of a sincere compliment.

It is important, of course, that the compliments you give should be sincere. The recipient will soon see through false praise and will either doubt your honesty (and therefore lose trust in you) or think that you have some ulterior motive.

If you are going to give compliments to other people, you also have to learn how to accept them yourself. Many people tend to think of themselves as ‘unworthy’ or to put themselves down. How many times have you heard someone respond to a compliment with some self-deprecating comment?

‘Your hair looks particularly nice today.’

‘Oh, no, it looks awful really.’

All that is needed is a simple ‘thank you’ and a smile; then both ‘complimentor’ and ‘complimentee’ will feel satisfied.