Читать книгу How to Deal With Difficult People - Ursula Markham, Ursula Markham - Страница 36

Unfortunately there are people who delight in making others feel small. While they should not be allowed to get away with it, an aggressive reaction will simply instigate an argument which may become heated. A submissive reaction will achieve nothing at all except possibly to cause the perpetrator to feel that he has scored a victory. Either of these responses will have the added negative effect of causing you to be annoyed with yourself afterwards.

If you come into contact with someone who enjoys delivering a good put-down, try to see the hidden inference behind his words. If he says to you, ‘Haven’t you done that yet?’ what he is really saying is ‘You’re incompetent.’ Unless you know that you really are at fault and have failed to do something you promised to do, a possible assertive response would be ‘Not yet. When did you want it done?’

If you are aware of put-downs and recognize them for what they are – a form of bullying where the aggressor is seeking to inflate his own ego by making you feel inferior – you are less likely to fall into this trap. If you have succumbed in the past, think about it now and decide how you would react should the situation present itself again.