Читать книгу How to Deal With Difficult People - Ursula Markham, Ursula Markham - Страница 38

Suppose you have to find an assertive way of persuading someone to do something. Many people find this difficult, particularly if there is an implied or actual criticism of the other person for poor performance to date. There are four points you need to cover and, bearing these in mind, it is often helpful to prepare a script in advance to ensure that each step is taken in turn. Naturally you do not need to read the script out when you come to talk to this person, but it will help you to fix in your mind what you intend to say. The four steps are:

1 Explain the current situation as you perceive it. Be brief and keep to the point without allowing extraneous judgement to creep in.

2 Show that you understand the other person’s feelings and then express your own. You might say ‘I feel upset about this’ or ‘I realize that you are in a difficult position.’

3 Say what you want, making as few demands as possible and keeping them realistic. There is no sense in making demands which it is physically impossible for the other person to deliver. In such cases (unless it is completely inappropriate) you might have to be prepared to negotiate or to compromise.

4 Explain what the outcome is likely to be, stating the rewards if she complies or the punishment if not. (Perhaps, ‘I shall take my custom elsewhere.’)

If you are able to analyse your own behaviour and then use the guidelines in this chapter to help yourself work towards becoming a more assertive person, you will have taken a very big step towards dealing successfully with any difficult people in your life.