Читать книгу How to Deal With Difficult People - Ursula Markham, Ursula Markham - Страница 35

The ability to negotiate is an essential part of the assertive person’s repertoire. If this were a perfect world and everyone in it an assertive person, negotiating and compromise would be far more common.

In order to negotiate in any situation it is necessary to understand the other person. After all, he has a right to his opinion just as much as you have a right to yours. If there is a clear indication of his feelings, show him that you are aware of it. You might say something like, ‘I can see that this is worrying you’ or ‘I understand your point of view’. If you are at all unsure of what his position is or how he feels, don’t be afraid to ask for an explanation.

Whatever happens, and even if the other person loses his temper or becomes overemotional, you must remain calm. If you feel yourself growing tense, concentrate on relaxing your muscles – particularly those around your shoulders and jaw where tension is quick to build up. Breathe deeply and steadily; this will help you to remain in control.

If you are going to negotiate you need to do so from a position of strength, so be sure that you are armed with whatever facts are necessary to back your point of view. And keep to the topic under discussion without allowing superfluous opinions or accusations to enter into the conversation. If the other person wanders off the point, gently but firmly bring him back to it.

Eventually you may reach the stage where you feel it is appropriate to propose a compromise. This is not the same thing as capitulating or acting in a submissive way. There is little point in being stubborn just for the sake of it and you will probably find it easier than you think to reach a solution that satisfies both parties without either of you feeling that you have been forced to give in against your will.