Читать книгу Fragile People: a Hidden Door into the World of Narcissists - Юлия Пирумова - Страница 4

Everybody knows who narcissists are.

It is true that representatives of the classical version are the very notorious self-obsessed, self-centered people, egoists with a grandiose self-image. They expect everybody to show constant admiration and recognition. And all of their resources are spent on acknowledging their own greatness and significance. Representatives of this personality type consider themselves superior to others and are willing to prove it to everyone around, demanding attention and extra-special attitude. They are absorbed exclusively in themselves, not willing to notice anyone around. For them, the only way of communicating with people is exploitation. In other words, it does not matter who you are and what you feel. If you can be of interest to a narcissist, they never refuse to use you. Otherwise, you just stay beyond their sphere of attention. The only problem is that, according to some sources, such narcissists constitute only 1 to 4 per cent of all. Too few to seriously threaten yourself with dangers of communicating with them. And that is where it gets really interesting. Since, in fact, the world is full of narcissistic people.

But not like those who you constantly hear about from the authors denouncing narcissism. And not all those who proudly wear a narcissistic crown of omnipotence, egoism, and splendor. In contrast to those who brightly manifest a narcissistic pathology, we are now surrounded by other narcissists. They will not humiliate you or show how great they are and prove to what extent they are better than you. Quite the contrary! Their narcissism is also wounded. But instead of showing off, such narcissists have chosen a different adaptation strategy. The first impression is that these people have absolutely no relation to narcissism. But it is who they are. “Secret” narcissists. People who have exceptionally fragile self-esteem and emptiness for a self-concept.

They disguise themselves and hide.

They try not to show their inferiority to anyone.

Their constant companion is total dissatisfaction with themselves and low self-esteem.

They are unable to be proud of themselves and devalue all that is good and worthy about them.

They always want to be a better version of themselves but instantly feel ashamed, inadequate or inferior.

They refuse to do anything to avoid suffering a defeat or facing a failure.

They are afraid of close relationships, but loneliness also scares them.

Their inner world is much more complex than it seems at first glance.