Читать книгу Fragile People: a Hidden Door into the World of Narcissists - Юлия Пирумова - Страница 8

According to the narcissism scale, it is evident that although the majority of us are not extreme narcissists, we are still far from healthy narcissism. It means that all of us regularly enter the area of narcissistic vulnerability, which is associated with our self-esteem falling apart under the pressure of life's problems and failures. None of us is able to live without narcissistic losses. And to recover and once again become good for ourselves, we need time and mental work.

However, there are people (including me) who are especially vulnerable as far as self-esteem and dignity are concerned.

It is typical of us to get filled with shame when we attempt to compare ourselves with the others or in case one of our flaws is revealed.

We are used to cowering when someone is looking at us.

We are constantly criticizing ourselves and are always ready to blame ourselves for any misfortune or failure.

We do not belong to the community of people who we classify as normal.

We are striving to measure up, but we fail.

We are afraid of intimate relationships. We are afraid of rejection.

We are afraid that our feelings will go out of control.

We are afraid to lose control.

We are afraid to lose.

We are afraid…

We are vulnerable but ashamed of it, as we demand from ourselves to be mature in such a way that we would never care about other people.

We want to do everything perfectly but are unable to make a single step, since we are afraid that a failure will ruin our self-esteem, which we piece together every time with such difficulty.

We want to be with people but every time stand aside, feeling inferior and unworthy with every cell of our bodies.

When we are being arrogant, we are actually protecting ourselves from the look of disgust, which we are so afraid to see on other people's faces.

We attack ourselves in response to any blunder or failure to meet the ideal standard that we can find in any of our actions and even thoughts.

We treat ourselves mercilessly and ruthlessly, since otherwise, we might slack off and become “wimps”.

We are striving to be normal and pretend that we do not need anyone.

But it does not work every time.

We are just “fragile” people.