Читать книгу Zita West’s Guide to Getting Pregnant - Zita WEST, Zita West - Страница 7

Day after day I sit with couples who have experienced difficulties at every stage of the fertility process, from the pre-conceptual check-up to those who have battled with miscarriage or assisted conception. Each of these couples has the same goal: they want to have a baby. Some are more desperate than others, and with desperation comes a kind of vulnerability. Many couples are running down endless routes, trying every available therapy without any real focus.

Many come to me just as they are about to embark on their goal. They are still optimistic – and usually with good reason – and want reassurance about their approach to conception and what steps to take in adjusting their lifestyle, diet or activities. They prove how starting off on the right foot can make all the difference; I have seen the results, and have a clinic full of photos of smiling mothers and babies to prove it.

Others who come to see me have already pursued all sorts of ways to get pregnant, and know they are having problems. Sometimes just the process of being listened to and being asked the appropriate questions elicits that nugget of information that may be key to the outcome (which is why the questionnaire I use is so detailed).

For example, I see many, many couples who are just not having sex often enough. It’s as simple as that, but just saying ‘have more sex’ wouldn’t be helpful. Helping a couple take a really good look at their lifestyle can be a real turning-point in their whole approach to having a baby, demonstrating the need for a radical change in their priorities and for unqualified commitment. The baby is not just another ‘must do’ item to fit into their life-plan.

There are so many myths around nutrition, intimacy and sex (see Male and Female Fertility chapters). Many GPs and clinics don’t ask enough about couples’ sex lives; the usual question is ‘Are you having regular sex?’ But what is regular sex? Once every Sunday morning may be regular sex to you, but it doesn’t help if you are ovulating on a Wednesday. Also, couples who are on different schedules, do shift work, travel a lot-these are all huge factors when you are trying to conceive. There can also be psychosexual problems, and naturally many couples are embarrassed to discuss such matters, particularly if their GP or clinician is not asking the right questions, of if he is not making them feel comfortable or even worthy of his complete attention.