Читать книгу Forever in My Heart: The Story of My Battle Against Cancer - Jade Goody - Страница 10

My interview in the Sun came out today so I picked up a copy on the way to the Royal Marsden. The photos were every bit as bad as I thought. I look terrible and felt so sad when I saw them. I wish people would stop taking my picture when I’ve been crying my eyes out. I’ve lived my life in the public eye since I came out of the Big Brother house in 2002 but it’s a bit different when it’s something so serious.

I’m going to have the mini operation today to see what’s going on. Inside I feel totally numb. I have to try and help them get to the bottom of this. I have to focus on getting well.

I woke up after the operation, feeling really groggy. Dr Ind came to tell me the results. He said they had found a tiny bit of cancer that had escaped into the outside bit of my womb, which is not great news. This makes the percentage survival rate much less. It means it has spread and I will definitely need the whole womb taken out, followed by chemo and radio. He said there’s no chance I can have another baby now.

I took the news really calmly again. Inside I felt cut up about losing that last little window of hope but I’d already known it was unlikely I’d be able to have more babies.

He carried on, telling me that I’ve been referred to Dr Peter Blake and Professor Martin Gore, who are part of the oncology team at the Royal Marsden. I am going to have an initial treatment of radiotherapy and chemotherapy to start with and then stronger chemo later after my operation.

The radiotherapy will be every day and the chemo once a week on Thursdays.

Charlene and Jack came in to sit with me as I recovered from the operation. She said she’d come with me for the chemo and radiotherapy too.

‘No, don’t,’ I said. ‘I’ll probably fall asleep during the treatments and you’ll only be bored.’

‘I really don’t mind, Jade,’ she said.

‘No, no, don’t,’ I replied. I didn’t want to put anyone out. I’ve always looked after myself and everyone else around me as well and that’s what I’m going to carry on doing now.