Читать книгу Forever in My Heart: The Story of My Battle Against Cancer - Jade Goody - Страница 11

Back at home the morning after, my eyes were all gritty because of lack of sleep. I don’t feel as though I will ever be able to just curl up and drop off naturally again. Every time I close my eyes, all the horrible things about the cancer start spinning around in my head.

The worst bit is finally dropping off then waking up again and knowing nothing has changed. I am still me and the cancer is still there, growing inside me.

I turned over and felt a squishy damp patch.

‘Urgh!’ I yelled, touching it with my hands.

The sheets were soaked in blood. I felt so disgusting and embarrassed.

I got up, washed myself off and stripped the sheets for washing. It wasn’t my fault. I shouldn’t beat myself up about it. I tried to put it to the back of my mind. Really, it was the least of my worries.

My next instinct was to ring the people I cared about and tell them, just to get it off my chest.

One of the first people I rang was my friend Kate Jackson, who was filming in Afghanistan. She’s a producer for Granada TV and I met her when I was filming one of my TV shows, Jade’s Salon, in 2005.

‘Kate, I’ve got cancer. I can’t believe it,’ I sobbed down the line to her mobile, thousands of miles away. ‘What am I gonna do?’

Kate took a deep breath. ‘We’ll do what we always do. The Fab Four will get together and we will fight this. You are going to be okay, Jade.’

The Fab Four are: me, Kate, Simon Bridger and Danny Hayward. The boys are photographers I met after I got out of Big Brother 3 and they are living proof that press photographers can be really nice guys, even if that’s not the way lots of people see them.

The Fab Four get together for dinner parties about once a month and put the world to rights. They’re such good mates. I can trust them with my life, something that can be hard to do in this game.

I carried on crying but Kate’s words did make me feel a bit better.

It’s good to know I have them on my side in this stupid, crazy fight against the Big C. I’m going to need my friends Big Time.