Читать книгу Heart-to-heart letters: to MrRight from CCCP - Larisa Kharakhinova - Страница 4

Dear Brad, здравствуй!

Thank you for your letter. I was very glad to receive it. It was as a sudden ray of light in the darkness. I don`t want to say `in the darkness`, but your letters brightly stand out against a background of my daily occurrences. I don`t like the humdrum of life.

It does not mean that my life is boring. I have much to work. I work at a factory as a mathematicion. I`m a young specialist, just after studing. But I don`t like my work. I don`t like factory in general, because it is converting living people into machines. I feel that in myself. It`s sad.

It`s sad too, that this city is strange for me. I left my friends in the past. Now, we can only write letters each other and sometimes, at the meeting, call up old memories: `Do you remember…?` and so on.

New Year night I was alone, because my aunt and uncle had gone to their friends, and I was `tete-a-tete` with TV-set. I was looking in a dark space, dreaming about something. There was a candle on the table in front of me and New-Year tree was shimmering behind me. All around was silent and slightly wistful, beautiful and mysterious. Indeed, it was miraculous.

I cannot express (describe) it in my words, but imagine – falling snow, somebody`s remote revelry, silence, pensive loneliness – only you and nothing else, only you and millions snowflakes and stars, flying through the darkness. You are face to face with the whole Universe. Past and Future, Space and Time, Life and Death are mixed in a phantasmagoric dance…

Wonderful and rare state of mind…

I was sitting in an arm-chair, drinking champagne and reveling my mood. It seemed to me, that it could continue eternally.

All was exellent!

Suddenly I felt poetry in my heart…

It happen sometimes and there is nothing of terrible. It is a pernicious habit, but more harmless than to smoke for example. I took a paper, pen and began to dush off. And here my inspiration decided to splash out into English. I was understanding that it`s blasphemous, nevertheless, my Muse is capricious and if she had taken something into her head – I am weak to stop her. – I am a slave of my weakness.

In short – my New Year masterpiece:

There is no Love – only illusion.

There is no thruth – only confusion.

There is no Dream – only small hope.

There is no anything – only sad mope.

Just after writing I became to be proud of myself. I was up in the pink clouds.. I had a radiant picture of… Shakespear, Byron, Shelley… I decided to continue this enumeration –

There is no ….? – here my vocabulary had run low. I floped down on the ruthless-sharp stones of the reality. Yes, `confusion will be my epitaph`!..

The enchanting New-Year night was going to the end…

Here is lyrical digression about my English. I can compare it with roaming in a dark forest. Without seeing my pass I now `forehead against the tree`, now `foot into ant-hill` or sprawl. But I try to march as if without embarrassment, careless whistling. Probably it`s fun. Oh, Teacher, don`t laugh at my first clumsy steps.

How did you meet the New-Year? What holidays do you like? And what do you like in general? What is more often in your mood – cheerfulness or sadness? How had it happen that you came into our country? What the wing or wind had brought you into that train?

By the way, I inquired about a trip abroad, the results are sad. Yes, it`s expensive (only tickets are cost my whole year`s salary), but it`s not only expensive – it`s impossible, because there are no tickets to Canada. Many people wish to fly there, and soviet air-lines cannot satisfy all (i.e. the tickets, which one can buy for the roubles have been sold forward to year).

So, my travel to Canada must remain only in dreams. It`s not the most sad thing in my life. For example, imagine, that I cannot comeback from Canada to CCCP by the same reason – that is more sad and fun, isn`t it?

So it goes…

There are many problems in our country nowadays. This time is very difficult for us. Yet, I believe in bright future. Time will show.

Such long letter is this. I cannot another.

Now it`s cold. Temperature is about -40 C.

I like skiing too, and I like to dance, but now I must sit at my table whole day. It`s terrible. Гиподинамия is my whip. (I cannot find this word in my dictionary, it means `without motion`). I dream to go in for sports and not smoke. When the winter will finish I`ll begin to run every morning and jump and dance and fly and… –I like to dream, do you?

Now is night. All around me is sleeping. Only my window is warming a cold darkness.

Silence… immobility… rest…

So long, Brad!

Take care of yourself.

Your lonely friend – Larisa

P.S. How can I forget you? (You are a `ray of…`)

Good-bye! (Bye-bye…)