Читать книгу The Communication Playbook - Teri Kwal Gamble - Страница 206

Men and women rely on different conversational strategies. Women, for example, tend to turn statements into questions more than men do, saying something like, “Don’t you think it would be better to send them that report first?” Men typically respond with a more definitive, “Yes, it would be better to send them that report first.” According to Robin Lakoff, a researcher on language and gender, women do not “lay claim to” their statements as frequently as men do.

In addition, women use more tag questions than men do. A tag is midway between an outright statement and a yes–no question. For instance, women often pose questions such as “Joan is here, isn’t she?” or “It’s hot in here, isn’t it?” By seeking verbal confirmation for their perceptions, women acquire a reputation for tentativeness.

Similarly, women use more disclaimers than men do, prefacing their remarks with statements such as “This probably isn’t important, but . . .” While male speech tends to be dominant, straightforward, and attention commanding, female speech tends to be gentle, friendly, and accommodating.⁵³ Such practices weaken the messages women send to others.

According to communications researcher Patricia Hayes Bradley, even if men use tag questions, the perceptual damage done to them by this weaker verbal form is not as great as the damage done to women. Bradley found that when women used tag questions and disclaimers or failed to support their arguments, they were judged to be less intelligent and knowledgeable—but men were not. Simply talking “like a woman” causes a woman to be judged negatively.⁵⁴ Researchers Nancy Henley and Cheris Kramarae believe that women face a disadvantage when interacting with men: “Females are required to develop special sensitivity to interpret males’ silence, lack of emotional expression, or brutality, and to help men express themselves. Yet it is women’s communication style that is often labeled as inadequate and maladaptive.”⁵⁵ How can this be changed?