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Would you rather have sex…

on the monkey bars OR on a seesaw?

on you parents’ bed when they are out OR in the room adjacent to your parents’ room (separated only by a thin wall) while they are home?

in a plane restroom (mile high club) OR in a train restroom (4 foot high club)?

in the pit with all those balls in a Chuck E. Cheese play area OR in a convertible while it is going through a carwash?

on a bed of nails in private OR on a luxuriously soft bed at Mattress Discounters during a Columbus Day sale?

Would you rather…

have sex with Bono OR Elvis in his prime?

Jason Mraz OR Jack Johnson?

Dave Matthews OR Rob Thomas?

Things to consider: What if each serenaded you first?

Would you rather…

have sex with Beyoncé OR Christina Aguilera?

Madonna now OR Britney Spears when she turns 50?

Lindsay Lohan sober OR Lindsay Lohan messed up?

Would you rather…

have sex with a die-hard liberal who’s conservative in bed

OR

a die-hard conservative who’s liberal in bed? Who’d you rather marry?

Would you rather…

bang the office hottie on your boss’s desk

OR

your high school crush in the principal’s office?

Would you rather…

have sex with Steve Carell OR Stephen Colbert?

Derek Jeter OR Kobe Bryant?

Joel McHale OR Robert Downey, Jr.?

Tom Colicchio OR Simon Cowell?

The Manning brothers OR the Jonas Brothers?

Would you rather…

have sex with Kristin Kreuk OR Brooke Burke?

Marisa Miller OR Adriana Lima?

Sharon Stone in her prime OR Kathy Ireland in her prime?

Minka Kelly OR Minka the porn star (world’s largest-breasted Asian)?

Pelbin Frolkdarp OR Lelsgahn Nasklope? (Go with your instinct.)