Читать книгу Would You Rather...? The Big Book - Justin Heimberg - Страница 7

Across the animal kingdom, choosing an appropriate mate is vital to help ensure the survival of a species. Male humpback whales race in an array of flips and stunts so the female can select the mate with the strongest genes, while peacocks fan their magnificent tail feathers to show peahens who’s got the most impressive plumed booty. For human beings, choosing a mate (whether it’s for life or for a one night stand) is also a skill that must be honed. While the survival of the species may not be at stake, the survival of your self-respect, dignity, and disease-free genitals might be. With this in mind, we offer you the chance to sharpen your natural selection skills, by serving up these difficult dilemmas concerning possible partners. As always, you must choose. Abstinence is not an option.

Would you rather…

have sex with Heidi Montag

OR

Susan Boyle if you had to then listen to each of them sing for six hours straight?

Would you rather…

have sex with Brad Pitt if he gained 150 pounds

OR

Jeff Foxworthy?

Would you rather…

do the Mac commercial guy and get $5000 worth of PC products

OR

do the PC guy and get $20,000 worth of Mac products?

Would you rather…

have sex with Kim Kardashian

OR

Ashley Olsen if they exchanged butts?

Would you rather have phone sex with…

Tracy Morgan OR Alex Trebek?

T-Pain OR Al Gore?

the banker from Deal or No Deal OR Oscar the Grouch?

Would you rather…

have phone sex with Alicia Keys OR Sarah Silverman?

Megan Fox after inhaling helium OR Chelsea Handler?

Tyra Banks OR JK Rowling?

a telemarketer who is trying to sell you something during the phone sex OR someone who subsequently requires you to answer a ten minute survey about your call?

Would you rather…

have a partner who will only give you oral sex if you do the “Vrrroooom! Here comes the airplane!” thing with your penis

OR

a partner who automatically shifts into an uncannily accurate Bill Cosby impression during all sexual activity?

Would you… have sex with Tyne Daly daily to have sex with Keira Knightley, nightly?