Читать книгу You Don't Know Anything...! - Nadir Psy.D. Baksh PhD - Страница 13

The questions posed above are all good ones, and the answers may be more apparent once we clear up one of our favorite issues. Without clarity about this topic we might just as well throw up our hands in despair and turn our teenagers loose into society unplugged. The important distinction to be etched indelibly in your brain is this: Your family is not a democracy. That’s right, we said it! Further, your family should not be run by the impulsive, outrageous opinions of people less informed and less experienced than you. You have earned your right to be the adult through your own maturation process, and your children do not rank on a par with you. They never will.

Regardless of your children’s ages or education, you are the parent and the adult; that makes you the head of the hierarchy in your family for all time. Try as they might, your children cannot hope to obtain that status until the day you take your final breath. Even senility outranks coming-of-age children, since pearls of wisdom can still be harvested through the fog of dementia.

If you question the importance of the hierarchy platform, think of any functioning group and examine its underpinnings. Whether it is a religion, a political movement, or a neighborhood town meeting, every organized group has a leader, elected or appointed, and basic rules to be followed. Your family is no different. No one expects your children to live under a dictatorship, but neither should you live under the threat of tyranny, mutiny or treason.

To be a teenager is to be engaged in a power struggle involving a winner and a loser; if you are not certain of your position as head of your household, you will be easily upended by your power-hungry teen. Make your directives fair and decisive and you will have nothing to explain to your offspring.