Читать книгу You Don't Know Anything...! - Nadir Psy.D. Baksh PhD - Страница 4

Treating patients in a “safe” setting, in our office practice, we’ve been privileged to witness family dynamics from a clinical rather than an academic perspective. We have seen firsthand the ways in which couples perceive each other and react or shut down because of their perceptions. We’ve had a bird’s-eye view of children and how they “fit” into a family, of how they perceive their position in the family, of the underpinnings of sibling rivalry, of caustic parents, and of feelings of unworthiness and betrayal. We doubt that there is any arena in which emotions are as volatile and raw, as pure yet contaminated, as truthful yet deceitful as in family therapy. In our practice, these emotions are expressed without fear of retribution, finally relieving the hidden anguish and anxieties that both parents and teens have held within.

Our clinical practice has spanned more than twenty-three years, during which we have evaluated and treated virtually hundreds of teenagers and their families. Some teens have come to us voluntarily, hoping to solve their family problems or to achieve a greater understanding of themselves; some have been dragged in by their frustrated parents, who demand to know how to fix the “problem” child. Some have been ordered to our office by the court system for treatment after committing a crime, or as a victim of their own intense anger and rage, in a proactive attempt at restructuring their behavior. Regardless of whether these teens have come in willingly, reluctantly, or with defiance, they have all come to us proficient at masking their true feelings and hiding their innermost fears, and needing acceptance and love.

We have parented four children, now adults. We understand that it is not easy to raise a teenager in today’s society, with its breakdown of social norms and moral values and the ever-present loyalty to peer pressure. Each of our children has a unique personality, and therefore they could not be understood, assisted, or disciplined alike. Nonetheless, there are some behaviors which, although approached somewhat differently from one teenager to another, must be adhered to without ambiguity.

As you might expect, our views have evolved over the past two decades to become finely tuned in dealing with the needs of both parents and their teenagers. While complete agreement among all parties is rare, still we have witnessed successful out-comes, time after time, based on mutual respect and consistent boundary setting. No matter how difficult your dilemma with your teen, the problems can and will be resolved if you accept the philosophy of this book and believe that all things can be solved with knowledge and love.

No one is a perfect parent; we have made mistakes and so have you. We can only strive to be the best parents we can be, believing that there is no mistake that cannot be learned from, no behavior that cannot be reversed, and no future that is etched in stone. Every family can master the passage of the teenage years successfully, and we are here to guide you with the knowledge we have gained from our personal and professional experiences.