Читать книгу My Lyrical Journey: How I Painted My Heart Wide Open - Paula Jones - Страница 8

As I continue on this path, this journey, a number of “lessons” continue to pop up. Judgment, nasty as it is, frequently rears its ugly head. There are as many ways of judging as there are people in the world. Generally, as I have been observing, it comes from not really knowing what another’s path is and projecting how I (or you) would behave in a similar circumstance.

I know we are all human, but we are also all one. I catch myself — at least I CATCH myself now; before it was from rote — making comments once in a while . . . being the perfect being that I am!!!!

“I don’t understand how they can/can’t do that. If it were me, I would do X, Y and Z!” And so on and so on. We all do it. We’re all “guilty” of judgment.

Recently, I have found myself the victim of judgment. It has to do with the almighty dollar….the “thing” that makes one “happy.” Not that I am rolling in the dough, but I am comfortable and don’t go without meals. Comments have been made to me about how “easy” my life has been.

“You are lucky.” Yes. Yes, I am. And for the financial security that is now in my life, I am grateful. But I have been and am being judged because of it.

Moreover, those who are on this path and have financial security, still have lessons and challenges. Just because you are secure financially does NOT guarantee happiness, peace and contentment. That only comes from within, regardless of circumstances. For a while, I had everything that money could buy and yet, I would consider suicide at least once a month. I lived in my own personal hell. I have chosen, deliberately, to not come from fear, but to come from love. That does NOT mean that I am perfect — far from it.

My children have also fallen victim to this judgment. It is difficult to live in a small town in Western Kansas when you are a large fish in a small pond. I thought that when I moved to Taos, this type of activity would subside somewhat . . . but, alas, it is still happening.

A path is a path, and my journey is my journey; no one else’s. Now, I find my lesson is to learn to look past those who judge; to have compassion for them, knowing that they have their own path. It’s knowing that “you cannot judge a book by its cover;” “judge not, lest ye be judged;” and “don’t judge a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes.” Just because someone’s journey is different from yours does not make their journey easier or harder. It just simply IS.

So, my personal commitment to myself is to work on having compassion for others and their journeys. I challenge each of you to the same.

Paula

As I reread and edit these past blogs, I am reminded how far I have come, and yet how far I need to go. AND how content I am to be right where I am. Living in the present. Allowing things to come to me. I never thought, back then, that I would get here. I never, in a million years, thought I would be able to say . . . I’m happy. And, I’m passionate. And, I love my life. Because I do. Yes, there are days that are challenges, but I don’t spiral as far down before I screech to a halt. Yup . . . it’s all worth it.