Читать книгу Legend of the Peeing briton - Павел Тюрин - Страница 10

It is to be said with the deepest regret that among the ‘Peeing Briton’ enthusiasts that have hardly had time to establish themselves properly, some adverse activities have been noted. There are subgroups of the ‘secretly peeing’, which threaten to turn into fully-fledged sects.

It all began as one company started to produce disposable diapers for grownups with an image of the ‘Peeing Briton’. And some people started approaching the famous monuments and peeing in their diapers as they sheepishly looked around, and then left as if they have not done a thing wrong. They even did that at the foot of the monument to Robert Baden-Powell, the founder of the Scout movement (see the illustration above). Such behaviour can only cause indignation or a contemptuous smile of a true follower of the ‘Peeing Briton’. Those who pee in secret are like the dissidents who flip a finger with a hand in a pocket. Those discredit the very idea of freedom and cause discordance in the movement. Such dishonest masking of ones true pee is not worthy of a gentleman!

With their words they seem to protest, too, but in their hearts they do not want to shed the chains of traditions. When asked if they believe in Blockhead’s great mission they usually answer with an ambiguous ‘yeah, we do, but…’ What ‘but’? How can ‘but’ even be allowed in this sentence?! Are they abandoning faith? Are they constantly changing camps? Are they?!

There is no fear of Blockhead in you!

Nevertheless, they proclaim that if the discrimination does not stop at once and they are not accepted as fully-fledged members of the Club, they will establish a ‘Knighthood of the Secret Peers’. As such they will go underground and join with an alternative wing of the Blockhead movement, whose members have already managed to found a church ‘The Secret Path to Blockhead’. Many images of Blockhead adorn their walls, and the edges of the images all depict various episodes of the hero’s life. There is a two metre-tall statue, but it isn’t easy to find since the interior of the church is a labyrinth. So only the most determined can reach and finally attend to their most natural needs without any reservations!

Some of the congregation made tattoos of the characteristic Blockhead pose, and some even embellished it with his initials. But this issue was nor free of controversy. What if some people take their PB as an abbreviation for ‘Partial Believers’? Of course a partial believer does not have absolute faith in Blockhead.

And that would justly anger the orthodox – if you don’t have absolute faith, how dare you use Blockhead tattoos on your chests?!

And for the Russians it won’t be easy either. What if somebody in a sauna or on the beach associates the letters PB next to the image of the ‘Peeing Briton’ as ‘Safety Police’ or, God forbid, as ‘Fear God’.[19] That would be seen as total blasphemy! All in all, sectarianism is harmful any way you look at it and such examples clearly support this position. All I want to say to these sectarians is: ‘PB! – Pursue Blockhead!’