Читать книгу Legend of the Peeing briton - Павел Тюрин - Страница 7

It has come to our attention that fans of the ‘Peeing Briton’ intend to organise their own club – their own writers’ guild. As members of this club they also claim the right to attend all public bathrooms for free on the territory of the European Union. Many believe that this is their way to continue the relay started by the long-standing team ‘The Friends of Manneken-Pis’.

Any citizen who has ever pissed on a famous monument can claim membership. However they need to provide the supporting documents, such as: a receipt for the fine payed, minutes of the trial, a hospital certificate concluding that they have been physically abused, photographs, police reports, etc. But let us emphasise that the ‘PB Club’ charter condemns such blasphemous actions in relation to the cemetery statues.

The most prominent activists of this movement established a closed club within a club ‘VIP-Club-ХХХ’ that stands for ‘Very Important Peeing Club XXX’. These people enjoy social attention: they are asked for their autographs, they are invited to the corporate events, and to conduct master classes in peeing précis.[13]

One manufacturer of the inflatable matresses bought a licence for producing a Peeing British Doll, and is successful in distributing it to the ‘ladies only’ sex shops.

Sometimes the members of the VIP Club conduct special training sessions which are intended to remind the newcomers that they have entered a strictly closed society – hence the XXX

Despite the secrets of the society, the VIP members are immediately known by the very important way of walking

A member of the VIP Club is practicing a Kama Sutra position in an intimate embrace

And this is certainly indicative of the fact that not all husbands correspond to the new standards of manliness, and the intimate needs of their beloveds.

Naturally, the handicraft artists also saw the lucrative opportunity and were quick to change from the dull amber pieces to making decorative plates, cups, stickers, key-chains, ties, etc. All pieces are decorated with the symbol of open-mined attitude and are in high demand in souvenir shops.

It is little wonder that due to the new trend, widespread interest to the nearly faded craft of embossing is on the rise again, but a new image is currently in demand. These plates now decorate bathroom doors where until recently a cute toddler on the pot was traditionally depicted.

In some countries they have already started to change signs on the public bathroom doors. Where a gentleman with a walking stick, a triangle, or a letter M used to be, now a statue of our Briton can be seen. In case there is a queue, members of the Club enjoy the right to immediately pass.