Читать книгу Legend of the Peeing briton - Павел Тюрин - Страница 11

And here is some information about the events that could have actually been foreseen. In Great Britain they debate the national identity of this particular subject of Her Royal Majesty. The English blame the Irish, and the Irish think that only the English could have been involved in this scandal in Riga. You’d think that they would never settle their epic debate but a happy occurrence helped to change the historical bickering to a more positive tendency.

A Pacifying Russian Word

Yet another fight was about to break out in one London pub when the atmosphere became volatile and grave insults hit many a sore spot.

– You are a stupid Irish bitch! I’ll show you!

– Oh, yeah?! What can you show me, you dirty British bastard?!

– See this?! (What was next shown was only somewhat reminiscent of the memorable pose).

At that time a calm gentleman in glasses and a fur hat said something in clear and simple Russian language that immediately relaxed the threatening situation. Namely he spat out: ‘What animals!’

Everyone heard the brilliant insight and that settled the arguing sides at once. And how else should they have read his words? The only nation in Great Britain that can be referred to as ‘animals’ is Scottish.[21] It is obvious that only those can behave this way, who believe that men have a right to prance around in chequered skirts. Thus the debate was settled and everybody was pleased.

By the way, a group of British, Dutch, and Belgian scientists are now thoroughly examining archive documents of the 17th century in hopes of supporting an emerging hypothesis that claims genealogical connection between ‘Manneken Pis’ and his contemporary counterpart from Britain. The genealogists are also interested in this study because a particular gene can explain such an unusual desire.