Читать книгу Sex For Dummies - Pierre Lehu A., Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer - Страница 95

As app dating has evolved, so have those who abuse this new method of finding a partner. That’s not to say that everyone you’d meet using the old methods had perfect manners, but I do find that some of these new ways of making people feel miserable are almost worse as they can be such time wasters.

 Ghosting, which you probably know but in case you don’t, means someone just stops communicating without giving any reason why. Suddenly your texts and any other forms of communication might just as well have not been sent.Would you ghost someone? If you would, or if you have, then you shouldn’t feel too badly if someone does it to you. If it’s behavior that you condemn, then chalk up being ghosted as part of the process of discovery and realize that you just learned something about this person that would have made him or her unacceptable to you in the long run.

 Benching is when someone is stringing you along. It can be more harmful than ghosting because it gives you hope and might cause you to wait for this person, which is just a waste of time. According to my philosophy, wasting time is the worst thing you can do since we all have so precious little of it. So if you sense that you might be on the bench, forget about this person as quickly as possible and move on.

 Orbiting occurs when you think you’ve been ghosted but discover that the person is still checking up on you on various social media sites. Is he/she still interested? Is this a form of flirting or just being curious? It’s hard to tell, which makes this habit very annoying.

 Breadcrumbing occurs when someone is leaving a trail of social “breadcrumbs” so that you assume there’s some interest, but you don’t know for sure because there’s no direct contact, and you want to scream, “&^%* or get off the pot!”

Be careful of all of these new ways of being rude because they’re distractions. You’re in pursuit of love, and devoting psychic energy and time to these people who are hanging around on the periphery of your life is only going to delay you arriving at the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.