Читать книгу Designer of life: 70 golden rules of deep transformathion. A practical guide to mindfulness. Will replace years of spiritual seeking - - Страница 23

“You don’t have to chase happiness. You have to lie down in its path.” – Mark Twain

This rule reflects a profound psychological truth: true happiness cannot be found in external circumstances, things, or other people – it can only be born within you. External circumstances, be it success, money, or relationships, can bring temporary joy, but true satisfaction comes only through inner self-knowledge and harmony with oneself. Real happiness is a state of being that arises from within when you know yourself, accept yourself, live in accordance with your values, and are in contact with your inner essence. This rule echoes ancient philosophical traditions, but today it also finds confirmation in modern scientific research.

Psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky18, a leading researcher on happiness, has confirmed in her work that genetic predisposition determines about 50% of our happiness level, while external circumstances account for only about 10%. The remaining 40% depends on our own intentional activities, thoughts, and habits – that is, on our inner world. This research, based on the analysis of many other studies, convincingly demonstrates that the key to significantly increasing one’s level of happiness lies not in changing external conditions, but in changing our internal focus and attitudes.

People who engage in regular reflection and inner development tend to experience a stable sense of life satisfaction much more often, regardless of external circumstances.

Like many, I tried to find happiness in the external world: in work, travel, shopping, and relationships. Each time I reached a goal, I felt a fleeting joy that quickly faded, leaving behind emptiness and a new race for the next “dose” of achievement. Moving to another country did not change my inner state. I thought that maybe when I met “the one,” my Life would become happy. But, unfortunately, or fortunately, my expectations were not met, and I felt yet another disappointment and dissatisfaction. I asked myself:

– “Maybe I’m looking for happiness in the wrong place? Maybe I need to figure myself out first?”

I began to engage in self-development, studying my feelings and needs. I learned to spend time with myself, do things I enjoy, and appreciate my solitude. Gradually, I realized that the most important thing is my inner state and being at peace with myself. Now, I experience a much deeper and more stable happiness, and external events have become a pleasant addition rather than a prerequisite for my well-being.

To begin your journey toward yourself and discover this inner source of happiness, I suggest a simple practice – “Meeting Your Inner Self.” This technique is aimed at establishing contact with your inner world.

• Set aside 10—15 minutes a day when you will not be disturbed. This can be in the morning, evening, or any other convenient time. Sit comfortably, either on a chair with a straight back or on the floor with your legs crossed.

• Close your eyes. Take a few deep, slow breaths. With each exhale, let go of tension, thoughts about your to-do list, and expectations. Feel your body, your breath. Shift your attention inward.

• Ask your Inner Self questions. When you feel sufficiently relaxed, mentally turn to your Inner Self (you can imagine it as a wise friend, your intuition, your heart – whatever feels most comfortable). Ask yourself one or more of the following questions (choose the ones that are most relevant to you right now):

– “What is truly important to me in life right now?”

– “What brings me genuine, deep joy?”

– “What makes me feel truly alive?”

– “What are my true needs at this moment?”

– “What do I need to feel happier?”

– “What small step can I take today to get closer to myself?”

• After asking a question, just listen. The answers may come in the form of thoughts, images, or sensations. Do not analyze, criticize, or try to “come up with” the right answer. Just be open to what comes. Sometimes the answers may be unexpected and not immediately clear – that’s normal.

• Thank your Inner Self for the answers. Take a few more deep breaths. Slowly open your eyes. If you wish, you can write down your insights in a journal. Try to remember these answers throughout the day and, if possible, take small steps in accordance with them.

The external world can offer you many pleasures and temporary joys, but the true, unshakeable source of happiness, peace, and satisfaction lies within your own heart and consciousness. Get to know yourself, accept yourself, love yourself. When you find this inner center, you will discover that happiness is not a goal to be pursued, but a state in which you can abide, regardless of external circumstances. You already possess everything you need for happiness. Simply turn toward yourself.