Читать книгу Designer of life: 70 golden rules of deep transformathion. A practical guide to mindfulness. Will replace years of spiritual seeking - - Страница 6

“What you see in others exists in yourself.” – Carl Jung

This rule states that everything we see and experience in the external world is a reflection of our inner thoughts and beliefs. Our internal perceptual filters literally shape our reality. If we experience a lot of negativity inside, we tend to see more negativity around us. Conversely, if we are filled with love and gratitude, the world seems kinder and more beautiful to us. This phenomenon is studied within cognitive therapy, which proves that our thoughts and emotions influence how we interpret events.

Modern research in neurobiology and the concept of neuroplasticity scientifically confirm how our brain forms these very “perceptual filters” based on our experiences and emotional state. As neuroscientist Norman Doidge describes in detail in his book, our brain is not a fixed structure; it is capable of physically changing and reorganizing itself throughout life in response to new experiences.2

This means that when we constantly focus on certain thoughts (for example, worrying about the future), the corresponding neural pathways in our brain are strengthened. The brain literally “tunes in” to these signals. Such connections become habitual “perceptual filters” through which we begin to automatically interpret new information. If our brain is “tuned” to anxiety, it will be more inclined to look for potential threats in the external world, even if they are minor. Thus, our inner state and experiences literally rewire the architecture of the brain, creating biased ways of perceiving that determine how we see and experience the external world.

A real-life example. I came to this realization at 49, when terrible events began to repeat in my life. Not even two years after a knife wound and surgery, another man in another country held a huge knife to me. In that moment, of course, I wasn’t thinking that it was a reflection of my inner state – in such stressful situations, it’s hard to assess anything soberly. The realization came later: if a situation with a knife is repeating, the cause must be within me.

Even after moving to another continent, to America, I couldn’t escape myself, because I brought my inner state with me. These events showed me just how much stress I had put myself under, how much I had stopped listening to my heart. This became the impetus for self-discovery and studying my emotional states. I started by analyzing which news, TV shows, and movies made me feel comfortable and which made me feel bad. In the end, I stopped watching news channels, reading news online, and watching thrillers. Not because I don’t care, but because I don’t want to live in constant anxiety. Now I try to choose information that gives me resources, rather than taking them away.

Such drastic measures helped me stop “getting stuck” in negative states. At first, breaking old habits was not easy. My hand would automatically reach for the remote to turn on the TV news. And this is where you have to tell yourself:

– “Stop! I don’t want to live the old way anymore!”

After these words, I would resolutely put the remote down and go do something else: read an interesting book or watch an educational video to learn something new. I suddenly had a lot of free time, and in the fall and winter of 2016, I watched YouTube tutorials on how to build a house – after all, that had once been my dream.

Spring came, and I started building a house based on my own design (workers did the construction, and I supervised the process), as my first degree is in civil engineering. My new habits are still with me, and I feel good and calm with them. In my new reality, there are no more threats with knives and constant tension. I transformed my inner content, and Life reflected these changes in the external world. You can do it too, I sincerely believe in you.

To apply this rule, start with the “Inner World Analysis” technique. This practice will help you better understand the connection between your inner state and external events, identify patterns, and learn to manage your perception.

• Define a period for analysis (e.g., one day or one week). It’s convenient to do this analysis in a two-column table: in the first column, “Emotions and States,” and in the second, “Events and Actions.”

Example of filling out the table:

Step 1: Throughout the day – notice your emotions. When you notice an emotion, pause and ask yourself the main question:

– “What am I feeling right now?”

Simply name the emotion without judging it. This trains the “muscle” of mindfulness.

Step 2: At the end of the day – analyze the causes. Review your notes in the table and answer the next question:

– “Why did I feel this way?”

Try to see the connection between the event (column 2) and the emotion that arose (column 1).

Step 3: At the end of the week – draw conclusions. Analyze all your records for the week and answer the key questions:

– “What brings me joy, and what upsets me?”

– “What recurring situations do I notice?”

• Analyze the connections between the columns: which actions/events most often cause positive states, and which cause negative ones? Which habits (information consumption, social interactions) lead to the desired state, and which lead away from it? Use these conclusions to consciously change your habits in the future.

This principle is the key to managing your reality. By realizing that the external world is merely a reflection of your inner state, you stop being a victim of circumstances and become their creator. Working on your thoughts and emotions makes the world around you more harmonious. Start small – change one habitual thought – and you will see the world begin to change with you.