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Chapter 1. The Universe
Rule 3. Everything in the World is Relative and Subjective

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“In this world, there are no absolute truths, only different points of view.” – Albert Einstein

This rule suggests that there is no objective reality that is the same for everyone. Our perception of the world is colored by our personal experiences, beliefs, values, and cultural context. What seems good to one person may seem bad to another. What one person considers important, another may find insignificant. The idea of the relativity and subjectivity of our perception of the world has deep roots in both philosophy and science.

For example, Einstein’s theory of relativity showed that even such fundamental quantities as time and space are relative and depend on the observer. As the scientist himself joked, “When you sit with a pretty girl for an hour, you think it’s a minute. But let a minute seem like an hour when you sit on a hot stove. That’s relativity.”

In psychology, research in social perception confirms that our judgments about other people and situations are subjective and prone to various cognitive biases. Leading researchers in this field, psychologists Lee Ross and Richard Nisbett, demonstrated this convincingly in their work, The Person and the Situation.3 They showed how we often commit the fundamental attribution error, overestimating the role of personal traits while underestimating the powerful influence of the situation when explaining others’ behavior.

This research underscores that our perception is not objective. On the contrary, it is actively constructed by our mind, which relies on past experiences, beliefs, and various cognitive “filters.” Understanding these biases is important because it is our interpretations, not the events themselves, that influence our judgments and, consequently, our entire social reality.

This law applies to everyday life as well. What is a difficulty for one person is a trifle for another. For example, if I were to ask my audience to describe me, I would receive different answers. A stern person would see sternness in me, a kind person would see kindness, a cynical person would see cynicism. We perceive the world through the lens of our own experience, and everyone projects onto me the traits that exist within themselves. You cannot see in me what is not in you.

We often project our fears, expectations, and unaccepted parts of ourselves onto others. Someone who struggles with insecurity may see it even in a confident person. Someone who suffers from self-criticism will be particularly sensitive to criticism from others. This is why public opinion is so contradictory: the same person can seem gentle to some and harsh to others.

This explains why we react so strongly to certain traits in others – they reflect what we do not accept in ourselves. Irritation over someone else’s trait often says more about us than about them. Another person’s opinion does not carry an absolute assessment. Everything is relative. Our perception of happiness or problems depends on what or whom we compare ourselves to. This rule helps us realize that our Life depends on our frame of reference.

To apply this principle, use the “Objective Thinking” method. This practice will help you recognize the subjectivity of your perception and learn to see situations and people more objectively.

When you encounter any information, situation, or person that triggers a strong, automatic reaction (judgment, strong disagreement, irritation), pay attention to that moment.

Formulate and write down your first automatic judgment. For example:

– “I don’t like this person.”

– “This idea is stupid.”

Critically analyze your automatic thoughts. Ask yourself the following questions:

– “What is my opinion based on?”

– “Can I trust the source of information my opinion is based on?”

– “What biases might be present in my perception of this situation (e.g., confirmation bias)?”

Look at the situation from different perspectives. Ask yourself:

– “How would another person (with different beliefs, values, experience) view this?”

– “What are other possible explanations for this situation?”

– “Could there be other reasons that I’m not aware of?”

– “How have I acted in similar situations in the past?”

Don’t cling to your initial beliefs. Be prepared for the possibility that your first perception was incomplete and distorted.

 Now that you have a deeper understanding of the situation, choose your next step. This could be a new attitude toward the person.

The law of relativity teaches us to see the world more broadly and to value our unique development. Stop comparing yourself to others and focus on your own progress. Your Life is your story, and every step of it is important. By freeing yourself from comparisons, you will find harmony and peace that will help you live with joy.

3

Ross, L., & Nisbett, R. E. (1991). The person and the situation: Perspectives of social psychology. McGraw-Hill.

Designer of life: 70 golden rules of deep transformathion. A practical guide to mindfulness. Will replace years of spiritual seeking

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