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A person doesn’t need a reason to fall in love. The experience itself is reason enough. BARBARA DE ANGELIS, AGE 17 JOURNAL ENTRY

When I was seventeen and hopelessly romantic, I lived in a philo­sophical world of idealism and fantasy. The year was 1968. My favorite book was The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, my favorite song ‘The Impossible Dream’ from the Broadway musical Man of La Mancha. I used to listen to that song ten times a day because it helped me believe anything was possible; I believed in people; I believed in the hope of world peace. And most of all, I believed in love, To me, falling in love had to be the highest human experience there was. As you can see from the above quote, I didn’t really care about whether a relationship was good or bad, whether the person was right for me or not. I was fascinated with the mere idea of being in love.

Many years and many lessons later, I have learned that what should be the joy of falling in love can quickly turn into sorrow if you are falling in love for the wrong reasons. Can there be wrong reasons for falling in love? In spite of what I thought at seventeen, the answer is yes.

GETTING INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE FOR THE WRONG REASONS IS ONE OF THE WAYS IN WHICH WE CREATE UNHEALTHY AND UNFULFILLING RELATIONSHIPS.

There are many reasons why people decide to have relationships other than being in love. This chapter talks about seven wrong reasons to have a relationship. As you read each one, ask yourself if you’ve made one or more of these mistakes in your past, or if you’re making them in your life even now. The more of these patterns you recognize, the more you’ll understand why some of your past relationships caused you so much pain and disappointment, and the more you’ll be able to avoid recreating these patterns in your future relationships.

SEVEN WRONG REASONS TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP:

1. Pressure (age, family, friends, etc.)

2. Loneliness and desperation

3. Sexual hunger

4. Distraction from your own life

5. To avoid growing up

6. Guilt

7. To fill up your emotional or spiritual emptiness