Читать книгу Sex For Dummies - Pierre Lehu A., Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer - Страница 124

Passing on an STI or STD won’t be a problem if you’re a virgin (and by “virgin” I mean someone who has never had any type of sex, as diseases can be transmitted during oral and anal sex, even naked rubbing up against each other, as well as intercourse), but you will face other issues. Unless you’re sure the person you’re dating is also a virgin, which if you’re young is more likely, admitting that this is an important milestone you’ve yet to cross will be a bit of a challenge.

Virgins can have several different attitudes towards their status. To some, their virginity is something that’s important to them and not something to give up lightly. To others, it’s a stain that they want removed as quickly as possible. And then there are those with one foot in each camp, curious but also a little afraid.

I’m in favor of the first position because that moment when you lose your virginity is one you’ll never forget, and so you should put in the effort to make it one you want to remember and not forget.

If you wait to fall in love before having sex, then your virginity is something that you might already have told your partner about. But if it’s still under wraps, here are some suggestions as to how to make the big reveal:

 In Chapter 4, I suggest you bring a book to a first date as a possible topic of conversation. There are plenty of books on virginity, or at least that have the word virgin in the title (even if one of the ones I found was about olive oil!). By having one of these out on the table the topic of your own virginity will flow more naturally.

 If at least part of your reason for remaining a virgin is religious, then a discussion about your religious beliefs could easily lead to your position on virginity.

 The original reason that brides wear white is that it was supposed to be a sign of their purity, i.e. their virginity. Some famous person or other is always making the news for getting married and so if the bride in this couple in the news is wearing white, it gives you an opening to talk about your status in a matter of fact way.

By the way, I’m not assuming that in talking about virginity I’m only addressing my female readers. A male virgin, especially if his first partner is experienced, may have even more issues than a female. If he is dishonest about his status, his inexperience may lead to something even more embarrassing — erectile difficulties. So my advice to you male virgins out there is not to resort to bravado and pretend you’re a veteran but instead make sure to let your partner now that you are a newbie.

Some people consider themselves to be a virgin even if they’ve had oral sex or even anal sex. If you fall into that category, what’s going to happen is that your partner may naturally assume that if you are having other types of sex that intercourse is also something you would engage in. Don’t wait to tell a partner that you won’t have intercourse while you’re having other types of sex. Make sure your partner is aware of how far you’re willing to go before any of your clothes come off. And if you’re sufficiently intimate to engage in an activity like oral sex, it shouldn’t be that hard to talk about your limits.