Читать книгу Lend me your ear and I'll give you my heart - Sabine Bösel - Страница 8

Just imagine you’re taking a trip to a foreign country. How would you go about it? You’d try to make yourself familiar with the culture, language, and customs of that country. You don’t want to act like a bull in a china shop or get in trouble with the law. In your country, if you carelessly drop a candy wrapper on the ground, chances are no one will react. If, however, you do the same thing in Singapore, you can be severely punished; different countries, different rules.

It’s the same in your relationship. Your partner had different life experiences and learned different behavior patterns and views of life. Your partner had different parents and different caregivers than you did. That’s how his or her character formed, distinctively and individually, just as your character is your own and no one else’s.

If you don’t want to act like a bull in a china shop in your partner’s country, then why not take a voyage of discovery and learn about the culture, language, and customs? As we saw with Carla and Frederic, it’s not a given that every word and behavior has the same meaning to all people. Why is that? Let’s look at their background.

Carla came from a family that always made lots of plans, but no one ever took the first step to carry them out. Carla suffered through this, so, she subconsciously decided: When I grow up, if there is something that needs doing, I’ll do it right away.

In Frederic’s family, every plan was carried out to the last detail. Each family member had to help, and even as a child, he had little free time and hardly any breaks. He longed just to let himself go. He discovered that if he said to his mother, “Sure, right away,” he could at least take a short breather. He has maintained that behavior to this day.