Читать книгу How to Deal With Difficult People - Ursula Markham, Ursula Markham - Страница 19

Try not to keep looking back at what you consider to be your failures. We’ve all had them. Professional footballers sometimes miss ‘easy’ goals; champion ice-skaters sometimes fall over – and I bet even Einstein got his sums wrong once or twice! But none of these continued to punish himself for years afterwards or entertained the belief that he was ‘no good’ in a chosen field. It is only worth reminding yourself of your failures if you are to learn from them. If they show you something you did wrong and you make a decision not to do it again, that is all you need. Once that positive outcome has been reached, all you can do is let the failures go and leave them where they belong – in the past.

Create your own successes. Start in a very small way. Choose something you find it difficult to do, whether it’s walking into a room full of people or jumping into a swimming pool. Now do it – but only in your imagination. Creative visualization is another way of saying that you should practise something in your imagination, always seeing it through to a successful ending, until your subconscious mind becomes so used to the image that it will cease to send out panic signals when you come to do the deed in reality.

In order to visualize effectively, you should find a quiet time of day or evening – just before going to sleep is ideal. Sit or lie quietly and allow your mind and body to relax. Now see the feared situation in your mind, as you would like it to be in reality. Don’t just picture yourself walking into that room full of people; see yourself doing it in a calm and self-assured way. Imagine going up to someone – perhaps someone who looks ill at ease—and doing what you can to make him feel more comfortable. See yourself chatting in a relaxed manner with those whom you meet. If you repeat this process daily over a period of time (at least three weeks if possible), you will find when you come to put the action into effect that you will have successfully reprogrammed your mind for success.