Читать книгу The Colors Of A Optimistic World - Logan J. Davisson - Страница 4

Most people think that self-confidence is about success, persuasiveness or particularly disciplined behaviour. This is not entirely incorrect, but basically these qualities are only the result of a healthy self-confidence. In plain language this means: being successful, convincing or disciplined does not automatically make you self-confident. However, a solid self-confidence makes it much more likely and easier to let you be all that. But that's not all. Self-confidence is the key to personality development and can therefore do much more for you. Therefore one should not have such a narrow idea of it, but understand exactly what it is all about. So, what's self-confidence anyway?

By definition, self-consciousness is "the awareness of oneself as a thinking being", or: "the conviction of one's abilities, of one's value as a person, expressed especially in self-confident appearance".

The latter definition is more in line with the term "self-confidence", which we will deal with later. First and foremost, it is important to literally perceive and understand the word "self-confidence". It's about being aware of yourself. To perceive and understand oneself. Why is this so important? Because you are the central element of your life. You experience every day of your life. You make every decision yourself and basically you do nothing but decide all day long. You decide what to eat, where to go, what to do next, with whom to interact, etc. For a happy and self-determined life it is essential to understand how important self-perception and self-confidence are. When we do this, we understand our personal responsibility. We recognize not only that we are responsible for everything that happens in our lives, but also that we have all the power over it and thus the possibility to shape it according to our ideas. That sounds simple, doesn't it?

What seems simple in theory is sometimes difficult in practice. We'll see what that's all about shortly. First of all, it is important to look at the difference between self-confidence and self-confidence.

Do you trust easily or do you have to earn your trust first? As a rule, we humans find it difficult to trust someone through the path we do not fully know. We often think that we need to find out more about a person before such an intimate relationship of trust can develop. It's the same with ourselves. We consciously do not perceive it, but in reality we distrust ourselves if we do not have a pronounced self-confidence. This is a very simple process that is completely subconscious. For this reason, self-confidence is a logical consequence of self-consciousness. Who has a consciousness about himself and knows himself completely, can also trust himself. Those who trust themselves have courage and confidence and can thus tackle great hurdles in everyday life. This ultimately results in successes that ensure self-confidence and strengthen trust. The aforementioned successes lead to pride and self-love and so the circle closes: one gets to know oneself, gains trust, is rewarded with success and admires oneself for it. After all, you're proud to be in your skin. This is what self-confidence really is and what it can do for you. Therefore, it cannot be too time-consuming to deal with the topic in peace: Because it can completely change your life for the better.

If it's so easy, why are so few people self-confident? In fact, there are many different reasons for this and it is difficult to generalize the causes. Since I do not know you personally and we communicate via this e-book, we cannot and will not undertake a journey into your very individual past. Instead, I will introduce you to general reasons for a lack of self-confidence, which you are likely to find yourself in. There's nothing wrong with that, because actually, we all can. Factors that negatively affect our self-awareness are omnipresent and it will be your job to avoid them in the future.

Among the most common reasons are the need to please others and the fear of confrontation. Most people already learn in their childhood that they receive praise and rewards from their parents, siblings and other role models if they behave according to their wishes. If they don't, they'll be blamed. While some people go through a rebellious phase as they grow up and impose their own will, others enjoy being passive and pleasing their fellow human beings. The logical consequence is a lack of self-confidence. Whoever only does what might be right for others loses sight of what he himself actually wants. One moves away from oneself and thus also weakens self- confidence.

Also the heteronomy and generalization make people less self-confident. We are constantly exposed to opinions that give us directions in life and convictions. It starts with reading the daily newspaper or watching the news on television. Furthermore, the media tell us what we should eat, what fashion trend we should not miss, what technical equipment we should buy and which car we absolutely need in order to convey a certain impression to the outside world. All this relieves us of many decisions and thus impairs our independent and self-confident thinking. Moreover, these circumstances generalize all humans. It is not about individuality and personalization, but about making everything possible "suitable for the masses". We like to underestimate it, but these influences also affect our self-confidence.

The last frequent reason for a lack of self-confidence and self-confidence that I will give you is failure. Whenever something fails in our everyday life, we are demotivated. We feel bad and never want to feel this feeling again. For many people, this means not facing the same situation again in order not to run the risk of failure in the first place. The consequence is that the trust in oneself and thus also the self-confidence disappears. One orients oneself more and more to what other, supposedly more successful people do. For this reason, it is important to remain motivated even after setbacks and defeats and not to doubt yourself.

These are just a few of the possible reasons for a weak self-confidence, but they are perfectly sufficient to understand the principle and counteract the negative influences.

They now know what self-confidence really is, how it arises, develops and why so many people lack it. Your task now is to make use of these foundations and to build up your self-confidence sustainably with the help of practical measures. In the following you will get to know 12 such measures. Question your own situation and the reasons why you long for more self-confidence. Be open-minded and willing to work against these causes. Use the main part of the short guidebook as motivation and support, so that you will soon be able to register the first positive results!