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A Networking Mindset
ОглавлениеHaving a networking mindset is a way of being. If you're open, friendly, approachable, interesting, interested, curious, inquisitive, conversational, considerate, respectful, collaborative, happy, positive, upbeat, honest, helpful, relational, and a true connector, you're operating from a networking mindset.
You must have a networking mindset to be a knockout networker. Otherwise you'll have a difficult time connecting with people and having them trust you at events and in other networking scenarios.
Your mindset (or attitude) drives your behavior. If your behavior is, let's say, a sales mindset, then you'll demonstrate sales behavior when meeting people and networking: asking qualifying questions, pitching products and services, assuming the sale, overcoming objections, and closing.
What would the reaction be of those you meet at a networking event if you demonstrated a sales mindset? They would probably be on the defensive and it would be an awkward conversation. They would more than likely avoid you and the word would get out.
A sales mindset is important – at a sales meeting. Networking mindset, networking meeting. Sales mindset, sales meeting. See how that works?
Having the right mindset at the right time will help you connect with others who also have the right mindset at the right time. As you're developing your networking skills and practicing, ask yourself, “What is my mindset?”
Behaviors that result from a networking mindset include making eye contact (smiling eyes, as someone once described to me), smiling, paying a compliment, offering to help (carrying a bag, giving directions), saying hello, introducing yourself, making a funny or friendly comment you can both relate to, holding a door open, inviting someone under your umbrella, offering to take a picture (of them with their phone), or striking a conversation with someone sitting next to you at the coffee shop.
I have demonstrated all of these behaviors. But not all at once. I carried a baby in a stroller up the stairs for a mother coming out of the subway, lifted a heavy bag for an elderly man at the airport, and accompanied a little boy to the bathroom (with his mom's permission) who was afraid to go in without his mother; I waited outside.
Of course, I'm not suggesting to do all of these things. You have to do what you think is right and appropriate, and come from a place of truly helping. You have to be comfortable, and if you're not comfortable offering to share the walk across the street under your umbrella with a total stranger (or whatever), then don't do it. Having a networking mindset doesn't mean “crossing the line” or doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable. Everybody has their own personality and level of comfort.
I feel good having helped people over the years and have great stories to tell as a result. But truth be told, there have been times that I made others feel uncomfortable by simply being friendly or offering to help. It doesn't happen often, but it happens. Most of the time people are appreciative and either take me up on my offer or simply say, “No thank you.” And that's fine.
Recently, I was in a major city and after checking with the security desk, got led to the elevator bay. I was on my way to a networking event that I was co‐leading. I was with my twelve‐year‐old daughter, Julia, who helps me at the events. While waiting for the elevator, a woman in a business suit came over to wait for the same elevator. I smiled and said hello. She said hello to me and Julia. I was also in a business suit and asked if she was going up. The elevator we were waiting for goes to the very top floor and would only go to a law firm or the venue where the event was being held. I assumed she was going to the event, so I introduced myself. She said she wasn't accustomed to giving her name to men she doesn't know while getting into an elevator. I apologized for making her feel uncomfortable and explained who I was and as it turned out she was going to the same event. Then she realized she did recognize my name as one of the founders of the networking group. She was embarrassed and apologized to me profusely throughout the event for overreacting. I told her I understood and not to worry about it.
The situation reminded me that not everyone has a networking mindset when not in a formal networking scenario. And that's exactly what a networking mindset is – being a networker (of sorts) while not being at an actual networking event or related business meeting. Of course, it's important to be careful – male or female, depending on your situation and your whereabouts. There's having a networking mindset and then there's being street smart.
Let me put some context around all of this. I've been teaching networking skills for a lot of years, written articles, and authored books on the subject. I walk my talk in and out of the ring. I love connecting with people and offering help when I can and when it's appropriate. My intention is always learning, helping, and having fun. If you're truly demonstrating a networking mindset, then connecting and developing relationships will start to become easier and yes, even fun.