Читать книгу From Me To We - Toni-Marie Taherian - Страница 4

HOW LOVE BEGINS

Love is the state in which man sees things; most widely different from what they are. –Nietzsche

With each passing minute, we inch closer to the end of life. With time we begin to lose the true sensation of feeling vibrant. The real world is full of a series of harsh events beyond our control. We dream to escape reality, hoping to make the dream a reality. The need for love comes from the lack of a partner; the empty void in the soul that longs to be filled. We dream of meeting the person who may change our lives for the better.

Falling in love is not a conscious decision; it is the intense subconscious desire to enrich our lives. As the trigger is subconscious, it makes love seem complicated. Emotional feelings are associated with feeling more alive, more engaged, open and active. Love has the ability to create feelings of euphoria, whether the love is parental or romantic, a long-term commitment or an intense attachment to another person. Love is the chemical reaction triggered by the ideal situation of having true feelings towards someone.

Sometimes love is not how you feel, but rather how you feel about yourself when you are with the other person. When someone stirs your emotions, you begin to lose the ability to see clearly. Gripped by the emotion, you interpret what is happening with the feelings you enjoy, whilst in denial about anything that does not quite fit. That is why the old saying states that love is blind, because you may overlook a certain reality which displeases you. The feeling of love is caused by a distorted image that matches your desires. Feelings of love can be false, possibly produced through misconceived and or misunderstood circumstances. Love is therefore deceptive of who the other truly is.

Romantic love can endure a lifetime but often does not, as emotions can be brief and circumstances can change. Romantic love begins with a type of addiction to the pleasure you can provide. Emotions begin quickly most of the time; so quickly that our conscious mind does not acknowledge it. Emotions also are fleeting, so an emotion can be felt one moment and not the next. Romantic love strikes when you least expect it. At certain times such as during periods of change or transition, moving home, recovering from a broken heart, or a new beginning, people become more susceptible to the strong emotions created by this bliss.

People love for different reasons and have varying capabilities with regards to love. Romantic relationships differ in terms of which pleasurable emotions occur most often. Some couples enjoy working together or find particular satisfaction in each other’s achievements. Others focus more on the excitement or contentment obtained through love. Love is the intangible feeling for longing for something—it is an addiction. This causes some to become dependent, trying to ‘trap’ the other emotionally. In other words, all boundaries blur and people lose themselves in their loved one, no longer seeing a clear picture of themselves or the other person.

We want to be able to maintain a clear sense of self, see the significant other accurately, maintain mutual respect, understanding and patience, and allow room for growth.

Is He in Search of Miss Perfect?

No one is perfect until you fall in love with them. –Teresa Conroy

Who is that woman sitting over there? She draws him in with her sweetly-scented perfume, having mastered the hair flip and exposing the nape of her neck, standing with her back tantalizingly close. She periodically refreshes her well-applied eye makeup to enhance her batting eyelashes in order to mesmerise him. Yes, if you are in any doubt, I am talking about the blessed one with the stunning good looks, the body to die for, a refreshing sense of humour, a lavish sense of style, all the wealth one would hope to acquire, intelligence that leaves a man dizzy, and charm that is undeniable and highly irresistible. Of course anyone who is lucky (or unlucky) enough to set eyes on her either wishes to walk in her shoes or is dazzled and obsessed by her mere existence, imagining what it would be like to be in her presence. While she takes a sip from her Meloncello cocktail, she gives him a knowing glance, that she is able to extract every drop of his soul. He tries to resist her as she smile at him, though his thoughts and yearnings drift helplessly into a different continuum altogether.

So many women want to have it all, to possess the ultimate power to capture hearts and souls. Men tend to be drawn to women who are easy to talk to. They are attracted to warm, sweet, intelligent, energetic and self-confident women who are considerate, understanding, funny and honest. But is absolute perfection attractive? Men are less attracted to women they see as perfect than to those they see as almost perfect, those who make small mistakes. A beautiful face is delightful to look at, but perfection can be slightly intimidating. A mole can be a sign of beauty because it makes someone seem more human and lovable. When a person with a lot of merit shows a weakness, this person becomes more likeable. Therefore, embrace your imperfections to elicit tender feelings.

Love does not arise from perfection. It is important to have the ability to come close to that image, but he often falls in love with those who fall just slightly short of the ideal of perfection. In his idealistic teenage years, he searched for his utmost ideal type. These ideals are a mixture of things he felt missing in his life, what others did not give him, and what he could not give himself. Many of his emotions can be responses to events in these earlier stages of life, even when they are no longer relevant.

There is no need for you to be perfect so that he will fall in love with you; it is almost impossible to be his complete ideal. However, showcasing some of the traits of his ideal match can make him go crazy for you.