Читать книгу From Me To We - Toni-Marie Taherian - Страница 9

We all have to let go of the Prince Charming complex and realise he doesn’t necessarily exist in the package we assume he’ll come in. –Gabrielle Union

The beginning of love is generally passionate. After the passion fades, it is the attachment that you have developed for one another that keeps you together. When you become attached, you still love, but you are no longer in love. Some simply love and others fall in love; those who can combine both have lasting love. Perfection is something you expect before you meet the person with whom you fall deeply in love. Love is possible without needing to compromise your values, your morals or yourself. There is no perfection in a relationship; expecting that will lead you to disappointment and in the end, no relationship will be able to satisfy you. Every person loves differently and some unfortunately just do not know how to love.

Love really is not all that it is cracked up to be. Be open to all possibilities, as you may very well be missing out on the most meaningful experiences of your life. At the same time, never lower your expectations, but instead think of ways to get him to respond in the way that you would like him to. He may not have the capacity to love you the way you want to be loved. In this case, the best solution is to simply yield to someone who can. If you have been lucky enough to experience love, you know that you have the ability to repeat this amazing process again. Timing is sometimes a problem; you might meet the right person at the wrong time. Romantic love is indeed an addiction and will not necessarily lead to true love. It is likely that it will peak too soon, reducing pleasure in the long term. If the game is to continue, you need to begin the game again repeatedly. You should not exclusively aim for pleasure and harmony in a relationship. Sometimes it is a relief to find that you are not in love; sometimes it’s painful while other times it requires patience. Yet at the end of the road, it is worth enduring the bumps and enjoying the ride.

Creating attraction is easy initially, but more challenging to maintain for a long period of time. It can be maintained if you convey more fantasy and less reality. Love is the space where illusion and reality intertwine. Too much of any one thing is boring. Whether it is passion, peace, anger or confidence, it will follow a natural balance order of peace. I often hear the question, ‘If God is good, what is the reason for all the pain and misery?’ God is all knowing and he knows only too well that too much peace and tranquillity becomes boring. One must learn to cherish the good and accept the bad. If everything is the same colour, the colour will lose its meaning. Therefore, when he is bored, shift the reality into something that seems more exciting.

A man can grow bored with a woman, no matter how beautiful she is. He yearns to experience a range of different pleasures. First, you need intrigue him, and then his interests need to be transformed into a stronger desire. Generally, desire precedes feelings of emptiness or a dream which needs fulfilling. Is it adventure and romance that is lacking in his life? Convince him that you are the one who can fill the empty space in his soul, and his interest in you will blossom into desire. Disaffection, obsession, torture and frustration come from the inability to love or to be loved and the inability to receive or reciprocate pleasure. The real bitterness comes from failing to keep the object of your desire.

Do not become bland and boring; always strive to become a better version of yourself. Consciously control your character and adapt to new situations. The world is constantly changing, so learn to adapt to these changes. Manage this by leading him with your heart and patience, completely understanding him and adapting to him accordingly. Switch what you need or no longer need in your relationship on or off at your will. Be creative with your style, explore different places as a couple, and alter your words and actions. There is no need to be overly dramatic, think about moments of delight point out what could be achieved between the two of you. Imagine life as if you were living out a fiction novel or were characters in a film. This helps when you settle into a routine when the adventure is over.

Life is all a game, a showground for a play. Falling in love means to literally lose control, a mix of fear and excitement. You should never allow him to become totally comfortable; steer him away from boredom. To do this, you need to make sure you press the right buttons. Offer a combination of feelings, surprise, indifference and extreme care. The more unpredictable you are, the more you can keep him guessing. Do not allow boredom to creep in.